Anything That Needs Finding
by blinding.lights
Summary: Kit West's cousin is dating a member of SAMCRO. Through this connection, she finds herself being pulled into the club through work and her attraction to the VP, Jax Teller. The closer she gets to him, the more she realizes that she can't escape her dark past, especially when it comes back and finds her.
1. Chapter 1

For once in a very long time, things were going okay for Kit. She might even be inclined to say that things were going great. Work was going well and her relationship with William was finally in a stable place. They'd been up and down a lot but things had settled. Even her roommate/cousin had been less wild as of late. She was dating some new guy and it was keeping her occupied. She gushed about him every time she saw Kit. She'd even convinced Kit to meet him tonight.

"Why can't I bring Will?" Kit asked her cousin. They were getting ready to leave. She'd decided on dark jeans and a long-sleeved backless top. She was going for understated.

"Because he wouldn't understand. Will would automatically hate Juice and then he'd make you hate him and I can't have that," Rachel said. She was so excited she could hardly contain herself. "By yourself, you're going to love him, Kit. He's so cute and just amazing."

"What wouldn't Will understand?"

She shrugged. "Everything…he's just not like your boyfriend. You won't even tell Will what you really do at your job. He still thinks you're a secretary. Do I need to remind you how long you've been dating?"

Kit sighed. "What does Juice do?"

"He's a mechanic in Charming."

Then everything made sense. "He's part of SAMCRO," she stated. It could be worse. At least she wasn't dating a cop. "I'm guessing that's where we're going, to their clubhouse?"

Rachel blushed. "So? He's a great guy. He's sweet. He takes care of me. Who cares if he's an outlaw? Rules are meant to be broken." She looked a little nervous. "Tell me you'll still come with me, Kitten. It's just a club."

Kit laughed and hugged her cousin. "Of course I'll meet him." She let her go. "I've got to let him know that if he hurts you, he'll have to answer to me."

"Yes! This is why I love you. Tonight is going to be so on."

The drive into Charming was a short one. The cousins lived just outside the border of the small town in Lodi. It had been home for Kit for almost twelve years. Rachel had lived in their house her entire life. It was her mother's until she passed away a couple years ago. When that happened, Kit moved back in to keep her company. Now all the family they had in California was each other. Kit was 28, two years older than her cousin but it had always seemed like the age gap was bigger. She always treated Rachel like a little sister, someone she had to take care of especially since her mom died. Kit's opinion was important to her and she knew it could make or break the relationship.

They pulled into the lot of the Teller-Morrow garage where a party was in swing. Most of the people were aggregated around the Sons of Anarchy clubhouse. Kit wasn't really impressed but Rachel was practically jumping out of her skin with excitement.

"Come on, he's probably inside," she said, dragging Kit across the lot.

The real party was inside. People were either drinking or drunk. Some girls were wearing barely anything and most were practically throwing themselves at men wearing leather vests with Sons of Anarchy patches. Kit thought she saw some guy getting a blow job in the corner. Her biggest fear was that Rachel was one of those girls.

"You must be Kit." She snapped back to the present. Rachel was under the arm of one of the guys in the vests. He had a short Mohawk with a tattoo on either side of his head. "I'm Juice."

"It's nice to finally meet you," she said and shook his hand. "I feel like I already know you from all Rachel's told me about you."

He smiled. "Let's get a drink and I'll introduce you to the rest of the guys."

Juice brought them over to the bar and got three beers. Kit had a good vantage point and got to take in the whole place. She couldn't believe this was where Rachel had been spending all of her time. It wasn't too surprising but this was SAMCRO. Kit knew they were into gun-running and all kinds of other shit. She was worried that Rachel had no idea what she was getting herself into.

"I'm just going to run to the bathroom for a second," Rachel said and excused herself leaving Juice and Kit alone.

"So, what are you thinking?" Juice asked her.

Kit turned to face him. "I am thinking that I hope she's really your girlfriend and not just a…girl you have fun with."

"She's definitely not just some girl." He downed some of his beer. "She makes me happy and I really care about her. Rachel is just different than all the girls that walk through here."

"She better be," Kit said with a smirk.

"I'll take care of her, whatever she needs. You don't have to worry," he said smiling at her.

"I trust you, Juice." She meant it too. "Don't ever let her down."

Rachel rejoined them and Juice brought them over to where a few guys in vests were sitting. Kit figured that they were all members. They all seemed to know and like her cousin, which was comforting. She knew how gangs worked. They were like family and if they had welcomed Rachel, it was a good sign.

After a while, the guy sitting adjacent to her turned to face her. "So Kit, do you bartend with Rachel?" he asked. He was really cute with blond hair to his shoulders and a short beard. He had a patch on his vest that read 'V. President.'

"No, I'm not very good at making drinks actually."

"What do you do then?"

"I find things." In a room of outlaws, telling the truth about her line of work was easy.

He was intrigued. "What kind of things?"

She shrugged, grinning. She was sort of drawn to him too. "Things that need finding."

"She works with Sean Patrick in Lodi," Juice said. Kit looked a little taken aback. "Rachel told me. Don't worry, we've worked with him before. He's a friend."

She turned back to the VP. "So you find bad guys and hand them over to the cops for money?" he asked.

Sean was a bounty hunter but that wasn't what she did with him. What she did wasn't as lucrative but it helped make important alliances. "Not exactly. I usually find bad guys and hand them over to whoever pays to have them found. The police can go fuck themselves."

He laughed. "I'm Jax. How about another drink, beautiful?""

Kit nodded and went with him to the bar unsure of what exactly she was doing. One drink led to a couple led to too many. Kit wasn't a big drinker but she could hold her own. Jax was just so charming. She really liked talking to him. She liked the way his arm felt around her. It made her feel safe. William became just a distant memory in the back of her mind.

"It's getting late," Kit finally said. The clubhouse had been steadily emptying as people paired off for the night. She didn't want to leave but she had to be at work early in the morning.

"You aren't going anywhere darlin'," Jax said smiling. He pulled her close and kissed her. He really wanted her. She was gorgeous and smart, not just some hang around. She was easily the most interesting woman he'd met in a while and if she worked for Sean, he knew she could definitely take care of herself.

Every thought in Kit's mind was sort of left hanging. The only coherent thought was urging her to keep going. She found her arms wrapping themselves around his neck, pulling him closer. She wanted this too but the rational side of her brain interrupted and she stopped. "Wait, no, I've really got to go. I've got to get home."

"I'm not letting you drive like this. Stay," he said before kissing her again. When she smiled at him, he knew he had her. "Come on." He took her hand and led her to his room in the back, both of them forgetting their lives for the night.

* * *

Kit woke up with a pounding head and a strong feeling of nausea. It had been years since she had this bad of a hangover. She immediately covered her head with her pillow to block the light pouring through the windows. She tried to process the last few hours but her head hurt too much. Then she felt the movement of someone next to her. She peeked out from under the pillow to see the back of a head of blond hair. This was bad.

As much as she wanted to lay in bed for an indefinite amount of time, she needed to split before Jax woke up. She slipped out of the bed and started picking up her clothes that were littered all over the room before locking herself in the bathroom. Once she cleaned up a bit and felt like she wouldn't throw up the entire contents of her stomach, she opened the door and poked her head out to check if the coast was clear.

"Mornin'" Jax said, smiling at her from the bed. He was smoking a cigarette and offered her one.

"No, thanks but I've really got to go," Kit said, rushed. She picked up her leather jacket and her purse off of the desk chair.

"You don't have to leave right away. Stay for some coffee. You're already late for work. What's another hour?"

"I can't…I'll see you around Jax," she said before leaving the room and speed-walking out of the clubhouse. She ignored the other women and club members that were nursing hangovers from last night. As soon as she got to the parking lot, a feeling of anger started to supersede that of nausea and guilt. She would kill Rachel for taking her car, especially today. Now she was left with only two choices. She could either call a cab, even though she knew she didn't have enough cash on her to get her to work, or ask someone inside for a ride.

Kit realized that her dignity was already at a low point so what could it hurt to go back inside for more humiliation? She walked back into the clubhouse and saw Jax talking with Juice at the bar. At least she wouldn't have to go back to the bedroom.

"I am going to kill your girlfriend. I hope you won't miss her too much," Kit told Juice.

He laughed. "She thought you left the car for her and found some other way home last night. She tried to call, I swear."

"Need a ride?" Jax asked. She nodded and he went to get his keys and cut.

"You and Jax?" Juice asked.

"This is our little secret, yeah?"

He nodded. "Of course."

Kit knew she could trust him. Beside the fact that he seemed like a genuinely nice guy, he needed her approval. Dating Rachel would be that much harder without it and he seemed to really like her.

Jax came back out and gave her a spare helmet. "You okay to ride?"

"Sure, why not?" she asked. This morning couldn't get any stranger. She said bye to Juice and followed Jax out to his bike. She'd only been on the back of one of these once and it had made her feel pretty vulnerable and exposed. She strapped on the helmet and got on behind him.

"Hold on tight darlin'."

It only took about half an hour to get to Kit's workplace from the clubhouse. It was located at the end of a strip mall in Lodi. It was pretty low-key. Jax had been here once before when the club needed to find a person of interest before the police. It was years ago but the place still looked the same.

Kit got off the bike as soon as they stopped moving and handed him her helmet. "Thanks for the ride," she said, politely.

"Anytime," he told her.

She pulled her dark hair back into a high ponytail. It made her cheekbones look higher and really brought out her bright green eyes. She was really beautiful even though she was visibly a little hungover. It was such a strange profession she was in, Jax thought A girl that looked like that and was as smart as she was could be doing a million other things that were more prestigious and a lot less dangerous.

"When will I see you again?" he asked.

"You won't," she said without hesitation. "Jax, I had fun but this was a one-time thing."

He didn't want that but maybe it was best. His situation was complicated enough as it stood. The thought of adding a new girl into the mix of Gemma, Abel, and Tara was too much to even think about. "Alright, I can respect that."

She kissed his cheek and then turned to go into the office but couldn't resist looking back at him. "Call me if you need to find anything."

"Like what?"

"Anything that needs finding," she said with a mischievous grin. Then she finally went into the office, awaiting the lecture on tardiness that was sure to come from her boss.

* * *

A/N: first post! I feel like this story has been in my head for a while. Please review, it'd make my day ;) xo A


	2. Chapter 2

**Brief A/N: I've decided to set this after season 3 sometime, just as a point of reference. And I switched around some events from that season to here (you'll see what I mean). Enjoy!**

It had been weeks since the "incident," as Kit was now referring to her night with Jax Teller. He hadn't called but she didn't expect it. This was what she wanted, or at least what she said she did. The most frustrating thing about the whole thing was that she couldn't talk about it with anyone. She desperately wanted to tell Rachel but she knew her cousin would just encourage her to pursue Jax. She had never really bonded with William. Rachel would probably start planning double dates the second Kit told her about it.

The guilt had mostly subsided. Kit kept her life compartmentalized. She had to in order to have any chance of a normal life. Her work stayed at work and she rarely talked about it with anyone but the people in her office. Her boyfriend knew what she told him. It sounded bad but she had been spinning lies so long, sometimes it was like the Kit he knew was a completely different person, a better person. Her past stayed in a box she tucked away in a corner of her mind that she tried not to open. And now Jax had his own little compartment in a place that was completely undefined. She kept it away from everything else and tried not to think about him. But like her past, it wasn't always easy.

As much as she tried to forget the incident, Kit had moments when Jax would just pop into her mind. Flashes of the night they had, the way he smiled at her, touched her, and even the way he smelled just came back to her. Sometimes it was just a flash and other times it was like a flood. It was distracting to say the least.

Rachel snapped her fingers in front of Kit's face. "You are being so weird, lately. What's going on? I feel like we haven't really talked in a while."

Kit smiled and took a sip of her now cold coffee. "That's because you're always with Juice. I'm totally fine. It's just a work thing."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, of course. You know how I'm a perfectionist and this thing just didn't go how I planned. So, how _are_ things going with you and the biker?"

Rachel was intuitive but easily distracted. She was more than happy to talk about her boyfriend and how big of a sweetheart he was. Juice apparently really was holding to his pledge of protecting her. Some hang around at the clubhouse got a little rough with her and Juice took a few hard hits at the guy before he finally let him leave. Rachel was really happy that he had defended her honor.

"How is the clubhouse? Do you go a lot?"

Rachel shrugged. "Sometimes. I think most of the time it's pretty dead. They go on a lot of runs and have a lot of late nights. I've been spending a lot of time at his place. But sometimes, it just feels like he's never around or we keep missing each other. It's hard to balance with my work schedule and stuff."

Kit mulled that over. "Yeah, that sucks." Is that how a relationship with Jax would be like? Is that something she could deal with? She closed her eyes and stopped herself. She would not go there or even start down that road.

"You should come out tonight. I've got to work but a bunch of the girls are going to be there. I can get you free drinks all night and before you say no, just think about how much you actually need this. You work too hard and a night of dancing could totally change your outlook."

"I'd love to but I've got a thing with William later. We're having dinner with some of his friends." The night was sure to be a dull affair but she needed to remember the relationship she was actually in. They'd been through a lot and there was no reason to throw it away on a crush. Besides, it would be nice to spend some more time with him.

"Alright, but if it's boring you should come by the club." She kissed her cousin on the head. "You're too serious sometimes Kit. One of these nights, you're going to have to come out with me and just let loose."

Kit hugged her. One day she would tell her everything that was going on in her head. "I promise."

* * *

Jax was at his happiest when he was with his son, Abel. Since he had come into the world, he was the most important thing in dad's life. Everything was different, more complicated. For the most part though, things had settled down. After a tumultuous relationship and subsequent break-up, he and Tara were still friends and co-parents. Tara had legally adopted Abel and got custody before Jax went to Stockton prison. While he was inside, she looked after him like he was one of her own. Even though they weren't blood related, Tara would always be his mom. She loved Abel but she just couldn't take the life that came with SAMCRO. When it came to Jax, love just wasn't enough to keep her by his side.

Abel screamed with happiness as his dad pushed him on the swing. He would soon outgrow the little playground they had built on the TM lot. Jax couldn't believe how big he'd gotten. He was almost two and a half.

"Grandma!" he yelled out. Gemma had come over from the garage to see him.

"Hi baby," she said, beaming at him. "Want to play with me for a little while?"

He nodded and hopped off the swings and into her arms. "The guys need you inside," she said to her son. "Sounded important."

"Alright." Lately, he felt like he never had enough time with Abel. Something always came up. He was glad that he had at least one stable parent in his life. "Tara'll be by after work to pick him up."

"Okay, sweetheart."

"See you later, buddy." Jax ruffled his son's hair. He was a little glad that he wouldn't have to see Tara. She had been bugging him about spending time with Abel, saying he wasn't around enough. She was right but it wasn't by choice.

Jax reluctantly went to the clubhouse to see what problems had arisen now. He figured he spent most of his days lately just cleaning up messes. He always knew that gun running was dangerous but ever since he read his father's memoir a few years ago, he knew that SAMCRO had to get out or it would ruin them one day. Something had always been in the way though. They always just needed one more deal or to carry on for a few more months that somehow turned into years. It was hard to say no to cold, hard cash.

Once inside, Tig brought him up to speed. The former president of the Calaveras MC, Hector Salazar, had gone rogue. Last week they had figured out that the Mayans were patching them over. After he ordered a hit on the member of the Grim Bastards, the Mayans and the Sons came together and put him in his place. They stripped him of his patch and cut. Now he was back with a vengeance.

"We know he hit up Lumpy's gym. Fucked up the old man and blamed it on the Mayans," Tig told him.

"Hale had the most to gain from that. He probably hired him," Jax said.

"Opie, Bobby and Happy have already gone to get answers. That's not the bad part. Alvarez's wife is missing. Salazar left the Calaveras symbol at his house."

"Jesus Christ." That really was bad. "Did he make any demands? He wouldn't kill her if he wants any chance at living this out."

Clay shook his head. "She's been missing since last night. Alvarez just called to ask for our help and warn us. This guy's out for revenge and he'll want to hurt SAMCRO too."

Jax nodded. That made sense. They killed his right hand, flushed his cut in a toilet, and forced Alvarez's hand to kick him out of his club. The Mayan president wasn't exactly opposed to the idea but the Sons definitely had a target on their backs as well. "Put everyone on alert, friends, wives, kids. If we don't find this bastard then we should bring them all here tonight."

Clay and Tig both nodded. Even though it was over a year ago, Abel's kidnapping was still fresh in their minds. You couldn't be too careful when you were dealing with men who had nothing to lose. "We're going to meet Alvarez to find out what they know," Clay said. "Juice and Kozik will stay here and see what they can dig up."

* * *

It was just after ten by the time Jax and Juice pulled into the parking lot of Kit's workplace. The place was pretty deserted. Kit was outside smoking with her boss, Sean. The office was closed now and they were just having a conversation about a case before heading home.

"Hey guys," Sean said, nodding to the Sons.

Kit looked at them curiously. She didn't know what to feel. It was weird seeing Jax in person. She saw Juice around the house sometimes but Jax was different. He still intrigued her and something about him made her feel nervous and excited all at once.

"Hey man, how's it going?" Jax asked, knocking fists with Sean.

"Can't complain. What brings you by?"

"This lady right here. Got a minute, Kit?" he asked, a small smile on his lips. He forgot how bright her green eyes were. It had been weeks since he'd seen her but a part of him still really wanted her and he didn't realize how much until he was looking at her. She seemed cool but a bit mysterious too. When he thought back to their night together, she didn't actually reveal all that much about herself. She was pretty guarded and that had piqued his interest.

"Yeah, sure. I can lock up," she said to Sean.

He said his goodbyes and went off to his car while Kit led Juice and Jax inside the office. She brought them to her office in the back. It was a small room but she definitely preferred it to the open concept plan of the rest of the space.

"What can I do for you guys?"

"We need to find someone," Jax said. Juice laid out the photo they had of Salazar on her desk. "He's part of the Calaveras MC. The Mayans are looking for him too. He's gone rogue."

Kit looked at the photo thoughtfully. "Why would he do that?"

They explained everything about the circumstances leading up to his unceremonial removal from his club. Then they expanded on what Alvarez told them earlier about his wife's kidnapping. Apparently the mark Salazar left at the house was written in blood, which obviously had Alvarez anxious and on a warpath. He knew his wife was a fighter and he was afraid she might try something drastic to escape.

"Have you gone after his family, girlfriend?" she asked. The easiest way to flush out anyone was through their loved ones. It was a sad truth.

"They're both MIA," Juice told her. "Rachel's safe, by the way. She's at the clubhouse. Just thought I'd mention that." Kit nodded appreciatively.

"We've been looking for him all day. We got some leads but they all ended up dead ends. The Mayans are an important ally right now. If something happens to that woman, it could send Alvarez off the deep end. Who knows what he'll do? It could change things for SAMCRO and not for the better."

She sighed. "This could take a while. Two crews have been looking all day and have nothing." She was supposed to be going over to Will's house. They had been fighting over a lie she told and had finally come to common ground this morning. Tonight would fix things. "How important is this to you guys?"

"He's a loose cannon that needs to be contained. He hasn't made demands yet so we still think he's just torturing the Mayans with silence. Regardless, we pissed him off too. I wouldn't put it past him to hurt one of us."

Kit closed her eyes for a moment and thought about it. She didn't want anyone hurt because she needed a night alone with her boyfriend. That would just be selfish. She knew she had to do this and there wasn't really a choice involved. Plus, at the back of her mind, she knew that she wanted to take this on to be a little closer to Jax. She just wanted to know him a little more. Maybe they could even be friends. "Alright, but you really owe me."

Jax smiled and Kit knew she made the right choice. "Thank you. Anything you need, you tell me and the club will have it done. Juice, stay here with her. I don't want her pursuing anything on her own, no matter how tough she is," Jax said, smirking.

Kit just rolled her eyes but didn't say anything as he left. She kind of liked that he thought she was tough even though he barely knew her. It was also good to have help and considering Salazar's brash decisions, back up was probably wise. She turned to Juice to get the rest of the information regarding her newest target. They had a lot of work to do before the night was over.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews/faves! I'm literally blown away, its amazing. Drop me a line to let me know what you think :) xo A


	3. Chapter 3

"What are we missing?" Juice asked. He was staring at the white board in Kit's office that was crammed with names and addresses. Most were crossed off as dead ends. They had spent the past twelve hours trying to piece together any place that Salazar or his girlfriend could be. Friends and any relative within 50 miles no matter how distant had made the cut. They had been passing on the info to the Sons and Mayans to investigate.

Kit's phone vibrated on the desk. She glanced at it and then looked back to the board, declining the call. William had been calling since last night. She hadn't really decided what to tell him about her absence yet. She was too focused on the matter at hand to try and come up with something he'd believe. The truth would just garner too many questions.

"You should just answer so he stops calling," Juice said with a half-smile. "I'm guessing that's the boyfriend?"

Rachel must have told him about William. "If I answer, how will I keep him wanting more?" she said, smirking. "I just can't deal with it right now."

"Whatever you say." Juice yawned. "There has to be someone we've missed. Maybe they're at a dead relative's place or something."

Kit got up and started pacing. She had the same feeling Juice had. There had to be some small but obvious detail that they overlooked. "Why wouldn't he have made demands by now? He's obviously not going to kill her. There are Mayan charters all over the country. If he killed her, he might as well kill himself." She was thinking out loud.

"Not knowing is killing Alvarez," Juice pointed out.

"But the more time passes, the more of a chance he'll be found. Why else wouldn't he reach out? Maybe he can't. "

They sat with that for a few minutes until a knock at the door broke their concentration. Kit went to open it and let in two more sons. Jax and Opie came in with coffee from the café a few doors over in the strip mall. They hadn't received a call in nearly three hours so they decided to come over and check on the progress.

"Anything new?" Jax asked. He walked over to the board and crossed off a few addresses that they had looked into last night. The whole list was impressive. He couldn't believe that a single one hadn't come back with anything, not even a clue as to where this psycho was.

"We're in a bit of a rut. Any new developments with the Mayans?" Juice asked. He was exhausted and really grateful for the coffee.

Opie shook his head and sat down in one of the chairs across the desk. "Lumpy's not doing well, probably won't make it."

"That's the gym owner, right?" Kit asked. Something clicked. There was someone they hadn't looked into far enough. "Why did the mayor hire Salazar to kill him again?"

"Hale hired him to shake Lumpy up a bit, not seriously hurt him. He wants the old man to sell his business. It's the last piece he needs to start new development in Charming," Jax told her. "He admitted to paying Salazar once the guys got a bit rough with him. You think he might be helping them?"

She sat back at her desk. "Maybe not voluntarily." She started tapping away at her keyboard. She pulled up the first hit on Hale she saw. It was from Charming's town hall webpage. Jacob Hale Jr. was a developer, local entrepreneur, and a prominent member of the town. His family had money and the best investment for money was always property. "I think that Hale got in over his head. He didn't know what he was doing by hiring Salazar. What if Salazar threatened him and is blackmailing him in exchange for a safe haven? 'You don't help me and I'll tell everyone what kind of a man you really are.'"

"We've checked out Hale's house and buildings his company developed in town," Opie said.

"The ones you know about," she said.

Kit picked up her phone and started dialing a number she'd memorized long ago. The fastest way to find out what normal people were hiding was to look at their taxes. She had met an accountant that worked for the Internal Revenue Agency years ago at a party. She, and Sean occasionally, paid him for information on what exactly people were telling their government. Kit gave him Hale's name and he gave her five addresses of places he owned and another twelve that his firm had developed. Opie and Jax went down the list and crossed off the ones they'd already checked out.

"We should call the guys. They can check the rest of these out."

Kit typed them into her computer. "Not all of them. If what I suggested is true, Hale wouldn't keep them at a development site. Three of these properties are within Charming. It's a small town and I'm sure it would look suspicious if three Mexicans just moved into one of Hale's houses, one against her will. Neither of these idiots would want that. These two addresses are on the outskirts."

"Tig and Clay went here last night and said it was deserted. It was just land, no property," Opie said, pointing at one of the addresses on the list. "We can start at the other one and go from there."

"Let's go," Jax said, looking at each of his brothers.

"I'm coming too," Kit said, also getting up.

Jax was a bit caught off guard. He shook his head. "It's too dangerous. We need more leads. You shou-

"I should come with you. And I am. We're out of leads and I can't sit in this room anymore. I know the danger and I can take care of myself. This isn't my first rodeo, Jax," she said.

They stared at each other for a few moments. Jax really didn't want Kit to get too involved in this. Looking for a person from an office was one thing but being on the front line was another. He didn't want her to get in the way either. But she was smart enough to figure this all out and for that he had to give her credit. The determination in her eyes spoke volumes. She wouldn't back down.

"Alright," he finally said. "You'll ride with me. Let's go."

Kit smiled, pleased that he'd agreed. This was her find and she wasn't going to miss out if it was real. She made sure the gun in her bag was loaded and followed them out to their motorcycles. Jax gave her his helmet to wear and she got on behind him. The adrenaline was already flowing through her veins. She was practically giddy. It probably didn't help matters that she had her arms around the guy she was interested in. It felt good to be excited. This was why she loved her job, the thrill of the hunt. As they took off, she silently prayed that this wasn't another dead-end.

* * *

The final address that Jacob Hale owned was on land between Lodi and Charming. It was off the main roadway and down a long, winding, dirt road. Jax, Juice and Opie parked their bikes out of sight off the path. If this was real, the sound of motorcycles approaching would alert Salazar and that could end in bloodshed. They would just walk the rest of the way in. Juice and Opie walked ahead to scout the situation while Jax and Kit covered the rear.

"This road was driven on very recently," Kit remarked as she walked next to Jax. "A day or two ago, maybe."

"Yeah?" Jax was impressed with her work so far.

She nodded confidently and gave him a half-smile. "My father was a hunter. He taught me how to track in the wild."

"Hunt a lot of cars in your time?"

"Ha-ha. You never know who else is out in the forest with you. The most important thing is knowing your surroundings. That life lesson from dear old dad has always held true," she told him.

"You and your old man close?" Jax asked.

She shrugged. "Yeah, we were actually." She glanced at him. She hadn't spoken to anyone about her father in nearly a decade. Not even small talk. It was strange to be talking about him now with Jax. Whenever she thought about him, a lot of negative emotions usually came with it, but not today.

"Were?"

"He died when I was fifteen. Both my parents did. I moved out here to live with Rachel's family after that and I sort of never left."

"Must've been hard. I lost my dad when I was fifteen too. It sucks." He put his arm around her. He liked how it felt when they were like that, when she was close. It was like she was a perfect fit.

"Maybe we should start a club," she joked. "Fifteen and Fatherless. It will be super exclusive and incredibly grim and dark all at the same time."

He grinned. "I'm down if you are darlin'." It faded as he saw Juice and Opie start walking back toward them. They were walking quickly and had their guns out.

"There's a cabin with a car parked out front. It's Salazar's girlfriend's. I remember the model when we looked it up," Juice told them.

"We heard a woman yelling inside," Opie added. "Looks like we've got a live one."

Kit withdrew her gun from her small cross-body bag. She had a silencer on the end. She had always felt that guns were too loud and that drew a lot of unwanted attention. With her gun in her hand, her blood really started pumping.

"Juice, call Clay and tell him we'll need back up. We'll call Alvarez when we know for sure if his wife is in there. Me and Kit will take the back door. You guys take the front. We'll go in at the same time," Jax said.

Everyone agreed and both pairs made their way to the respective cabin doors, avoiding the windows. Jax pointed his gun at the lock on the back door. Kit was ready with her gun fully loaded. He fired and kicked the door open. A woman was in the middle of the room, frozen for a moment in shock. She quickly grabbed the gun on the coffee table beside her and started firing wildly. This had to be Salazar's girlfriend, Luisa. She backed herself behind the kitchen island. Juice and Opie had burst in seconds after Jax had and were the closest targets. They immediately moved as bullets started flying. The Sons started yelling for her to put the gun down and were firing back.

When a bullet flew an inch from Kit's head, she got into motion. Once the gunfire had started, Jax moved to the hallway off the kitchen and she had taken cover behind an armchair. She couldn't sit by and wait for this woman to run out of ammunition. If she was going to be shot, it wouldn't be as a coward. She moved into the open and was immediately hit in the arm though she hardly felt it with all the adrenaline coursing through her veins. Instead she took her shot, hitting Luisa's right hand causing her to drop the gun. Her next two shots hit each of her upper arms.

Opie took the opportunity to grab Luisa before she could do any more damage. Jax and Juice came to his aid and within a few minutes, they had her hands and feet bound. The VP then walked over to Kit, not in the least bit pleased.

"What the fuck was that?! Are you suicidal or just out of your mind?!" he yelled.

"I knew what I was doing," Kit told him calmly, her eyes not shying away from his. She shrugged off her jacket and saw that the bullet that hit her had actually just grazed her. The wound was superficial. She didn't make a mistake and she wouldn't apologize for what she did just because Jax didn't like it. "I took a risk and it paid off."

"A few inches over and you would be dead," Jax said. He couldn't believe her audacity. She put herself directly in the line of fire and for what? A few more seconds and they could have taken the woman down. Her impatience could have killed her.

"I guess it's a good thing that's not how things went." She walked off to the bathroom and found some clean towels. She wrapped one around her arm to stop the bleeding and took the rest for Luisa. Jax had quickly checked the rooms at the back of the cabin when they came in and Kit assumed that he hadn't found Salazar. When she returned to the main room, Jax was on the phone and Juice had found Alvarez's wife who was crying and very shaken up. Opie was questioning Luisa to little avail.

"Don't bother. We should just let her die," he remarked when he saw Kit with the towels.

"Not yet," she said. "Salazar's not here. She's the leverage you need to flush him out." She started wrapping the towels around Luisa's wounds. The woman allowed her to do it, aware of the fact she could bleed out if Kit didn't. She didn't move or make a sound except to whimper at the pain.

Jax closed his phone and walked over to Luisa, his anger still lingering. "Where's Salazar?" he asked, his tone hard. When she didn't answer, he kicked her in the stomach and asked again. It continued twice more until she finally relented that she didn't know. He never came back, she claimed.

"I don't believe her," Jax said, ready to hit her this time with his fists. He didn't believe in hitting women but this was an exception and it seemed to be working.

Kit stopped him. "She might be telling the truth. Just think about it. The only reason he wouldn't have made demands of Alvarez yet or come back here is because he couldn't. Someone or something must have stopped him." She turned to the girlfriend. "Where did he go when he last left?"

Luisa looked at Jax and then back to Kit. She'd rather deal with the good cop in this situation. She was already fucked. She had told Hector that kidnapping Alvarez's wife was a bad idea but he had done it anyway. Now she was stuck along for the ride. "He went to meet with Hale. He wanted to hurt the Sons of Anarchy too." She turned to Jax. "He wanted to take your son and needed to know where to find him."

Jax could feel his anger rising. The one thing that kept it in check was the fact that he knew Abel was safe, and Tara too for that matter. Clay had mentioned that everyone was still at the clubhouse. "That never happened. So, where the fuck is he?" He walked away from everyone. This was pointless. She didn't know anything more than they did. He went out to the porch and lit a cigarette. The Sons had done their bit. Alvarez could come collect his wife and the Mayans could deal with the rest.

A few minutes later, Kit walked out of the cabin. She was on her phone but she needed to find Jax. She had good news. "Alright love, I owe you one," she said and hung up, a smile spread across her face. "I found him."

Jax wondered who she had spoken to. "How? Where is he?"

"The police have him. I figured when we couldn't find him anywhere, he had to be locked up somewhere no one would have seen him, somewhere he couldn't just leave of his own free will."

"I'm sure the Mayans have at least one cop from San Joaquin on their payroll that would have said something."

"He's not with the Sheriff's office. He got picked up for possession. Apparently he was carrying quite a bit of meth. My guess is Hale planted it in his car and called it in to take Salazar off the street. Or he's just a meth-head which I wouldn't doubt at this point. The DEA have him. I know someone in the office and with a little sweet talk, he revealed that Salazar has made it more than clear he is very willing to start spouting stories from gangland."

"Jesus Christ." This could get bad. They needed to kill him before he gave the feds anything. SAMCRO was selling guns to the Mayans. If Salazar started working with them, they could use him to shut down the Mayans' drug trade and the Sons' gun running by kick-starting a RICO case. Jax would have to wait to discuss what their next move would be until Clay and Alvarez got there.

He looked at Kit. "How's the arm?"

She hopped up and sat on the wooden porch railing. "I'll live. I'll just have a really hot looking battle scar. How can any man resist that? It'll just drive them wild."

Jax couldn't help but laugh with her. He liked that she was the kind of person who could make light of terrible things like dead fathers and getting shot. "It will be pretty sexy, I have to admit."

"I guess it was all worth it then," she teased. Kit realized that his anger about what she did had dissipated. He had reacted in the heat of the moment. Rachel had mentioned that he was a bit hot-headed. She liked that kind of volatile energy. She also liked that he could let it go so quickly and focus on the things that really mattered.

The roar of motorcycles interrupted their moment. A few seconds later, the rest of the Sons of Anarchy showed up with Mayans following on their Harleys. There was a lot to sort out. Kit watched Jax go to meet his brothers and fill them in. She pulled a cigarette out of her purse and lit up. She had done her part for the day. There was no reason to go back inside.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she pulled it out thinking it might be her DEA friend. It was William, again. She still didn't have an explanation to offer up. After taking a deep draw on her cigarette, she realized she didn't really care to think of one. She hit end and powered her phone off. She'd deal with that when she did.

* * *

A/N: I hope you enjoyed the latest instalment. Thanks for all the faves/follows/reviews. It always makes me smile and motivates me to write. xo A


	4. Chapter 4

Rachel hugged Kit so tight she thought she'd suffocate. "Thank god you're okay," she said giving no indication that she'd let go. It was torturous waiting in the SAMCRO warehouse with no clear word on what was going on. She knew she was in some sort of danger but knew her cousin was in more. When she suggested Juice go to her for help, she didn't imagine Kit would end up on the wrong side of a gun. Rachel knew she could take care of herself the whole thing was still scary.

"Totally fine," Kit assured her. Rachel finally let go.

"You should have called. Or at the very least sent a text."

"Next time, I promise I will. I didn't think things were going to go the way they did." Kit didn't want to say too much. Who knew how much Juice shared with her. It was better for her to not know. If she understood the danger her boyfriend was constantly in, she might even end things. Rachel never handled stress well.

They watched Chibs and Opie walk Luisa into a room off the main lounge area. It was a meeting room with a big wooden table in it. Kit saw Jax come in and walk straight toward a woman sitting across the room with a blond child. She rose and hugged him tightly. Jax gave her a small kiss and then picked up the boy who laughed and smiled. This must be his son.

"Who is that?" Kit asked, unable to stop herself. She felt a little sick. Did Jax have a wife?

Rachel followed her gaze. "That's Tara, Jax's…I'm not really sure. It's his kid's mom. I think they're together but I don't think they're married. I was talking to her earlier. She's super nice. It's really sweet actually. They dated in high school."

Kit had to sit down. She dragged Rachel to the bar and they both sat on stools. Her guilt that had been fading since the "incident" resurfaced and hit her like a ton of bricks. Jax had a family. She cheated with a guy who had a family. What was wrong with her? It had never even occurred to her that he might have a girlfriend. She watched Tara grab a bag from a shelf in the corner and go into the room with Luisa.

"She's a doctor," Rachel added then saw her cousin's disposition. She just laughed. "It's so obvious you have a crush on Jax, Kitten. He is really cute in all fairness. You do have a boyfriend though and I have to say he's also pretty cute despite everything else."

"Everything else?"

"He's cool and everything but he's kind of possessive. Sometimes it seems like you're always doing things he wants to do. Relationships are about balance and it's a little one sided in you case. At least that's how it looks. And he never wanted to get to know me despite how many times I tried with him. I'm your only family out here. Doesn't that matter to him?" she asked.

Rachel didn't mean to say all that but it was like she couldn't stop once she started. William wasn't the guy for Kit and she knew it. They'd been dating for almost a year and Rachel had never seen any passion between them. Obviously not every relationship is fueled by sex, lust, and excitement but sometimes it seemed like Kit was just going through the motions. She wanted to say that too but that would definitely be crossing a line. They probably loved each other but their relationship was just missing something.

Kit ordered a drink from the prospect behind the bar. She hated that she was superficial that this bothered her. Was that really how her relationship looked from the outside? She and William had fun together. In the time they were together, she could recall tons of times where they did things she wanted. Rachel had it wrong. She was always really forward and pushy with William too. He was a little shy but he was always nice to Kit's cousin. They didn't have to be best friends, which Rachel didn't understand. She downed her whisky in one go and demanded another.

"He's been calling by the way," Rachel said a little tentative. "He was trying to find you. He worried. I told him I convinced you to go out with me and we got home late last night."

"Thanks," Kit said.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, I'm glad I know how you feel," she replied, her voice empty. She wasn't mad at Rachel. She was mad at herself in a lot of ways. She felt like a fool. She was in an apparently shitty relationship that she was intent on ruining and Jax had an old lady and a family. She thought she felt something with him earlier in the woods and at the cabin but obviously not.

Rachel squeezed her shoulder. She knew Kit well enough to know that she needed space. She got a bit detached sometimes. "I'm going to talk to Juice."

Kit drank her second whiskey alone and tried to stop thinking. Jax was just a one-night stand that had gotten out of hand. She could let it go. Her mind was her worst enemy sometimes. It felt like she had created this whole thing with Jax. It wasn't real and she needed to remember her actual life and her relationships.

She downed the rest of her drink and went to get some air outside. It was actually a nice day still, sunny and breezy. She walked over to the picnic table out there and lied down on top, letting her legs hang off the end. She shut her eyes and willed for time to go faster. Once the Sons paid her, she could leave and move on.

* * *

The next thing Kit knew, Jax was gently shaking her awake. She must have dozed off. He was sitting on the bench by her head, a cigarette between his lips. She debated sitting up but it just seemed to require too much energy right now. After a night of no sleep and an eventful morning, she was exhausted.

"You know there's a bed inside you could have slept in," Jax said.

"Oh, I remember."

"You doing okay?"

Kit hesitated then realized being a little honest might be the way to go here. "Not really." She couldn't really take any more of her jealous thoughts running wild. It would be better to sort things out now. "I really like you Jax but I didn't realize your life was so complicated." She perched herself up on her elbows so she could see his full reaction.

He smiled a little. She was being forward. "It's really not so bad."

"Yeah?"

"I have a son, Abel. His mom is my junkie ex-wife. Tara's been there from the beginning. She's his real mother. We broke up when I got out of Stockton a couple months ago. The whole thing was pretty hard on her," he told Kit. "She couldn't handle the club life and all that comes with it." If he wanted any kind of future with her, he'd have to be open. His life _was_ complicated but he was willing to try with Kit.

"What were you in for?" she asked.

"Federal gun charges. Fourteen months."

Kit laid back down and stared at the roof. "You're right. It's not that bad." She reached over and took the cigarette from him, taking a draw.

"What about you? You walked in front of a woman firing a gun today. Why did you do it? Just because you got some lucky shots in doesn't make it any less crazy."

"They weren't lucky shots. I'm a brilliant marksman."

Jax laughed. "Really?"

Kit pulled herself up and moved to sit beside him. "Why is that so hard to believe?"

"You've just been surprising me all day. I didn't realize you were so talented."

"It's not talent." For the second time in a short span, she decided to tell the truth. "When my parents died and I came here, I was very angry. I should have been sad but I wasn't. I was sullen and full of all this rage and just all around unbearable. Rachel's dad and brothers went to the gun range in Stockton sometimes and they took me one day. It was my uncle's idea. He thought I'd get some of my anger out. It worked a little too well and I became a little obsessed. I started going everyday."

"For how long?"

"Until I was like eighteen at which point I started going once a week. It eventually got less frequent but I developed some pretty handy skills. It sounds reckless but I'd rather risk two seconds of exposure and hit my mark than just keep firing and hope I hit something."

"That _is_ reckless, beautiful." Jax looked at Kit for a few seconds before pulling her closer and kissing her. There was just something about her. Maybe it was that she was open and willing to share parts of herself. He could identify with her experience of dealing with a dead parent and the anger that comes with the sadness. Or maybe it was that she was just real. Her honesty was refreshing. She was also really pretty which didn't hurt.

The door of the clubhouse opened and Kit pulled away from Jax instinctively to see who it was. It was only Juice thankfully. "Tara can stitch your arm now," he said, smirking at both of them before going back inside.

She sighed and rested her head on Jax's shoulder. She had gotten caught up in the moment. It was easy to forget things when she was with him. She may not have potentially broken up a family but did she really want to get involved in such a complicated situation? What about her situation? Jax was just so easy to talk to about things she had kept held in so tight. She didn't know what it was about him that made her feel…safe. She just trusted he wouldn't judge her; he would just get it. Her past was still locked away but with him, maybe it didn't have to be.

Jax wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head. "I really like you too, Kit. And I'll have a word with my brothers about interrupting us."

She laughed and kissed him on the lips before going inside. He had laid it all out. Should she show him all her cards too? If she wanted to really give this a chance, she'd have to eventually. But that time wasn't here yet. They weren't anything. They just liked each other.

Tara was waiting at a small table. She had gloves on ready to go. Kit took off her jacket and laid it over the chair before sitting down. So much for not complicated. Her crush's ex-girlfriend who happened to be the non-biological mother to his kid was going to stitch her up. No big deal at all.

"I'm Tara," she said, smiling.

"It's Kit. I'm Rachel's cousin."

Tara untied the bandana Jax had wrapped around the wound. It really wasn't too bad. "This is nothing. A few stitches and you'll be fine. When they said you were shot, I was expecting worse." She started cleaning the area. "I haven't seen you around. Do you work with the club a lot?"

"This is my first time dealing with the Sons. It could have gone a lot worse," she said.

"You got shot."

"I'll mark it down to the cost of doing business with the MC." She winced as Tara stuck a needle with anaesthetic in the wound. "I get a beautiful scar to remind me of the day I helped save an innocent woman."

Tara smiled at her. "Rachel was saying that's what you did. You find people."

Kit nodded. "Sometimes it's objects or information. Sometimes it's people who don't want to be found. Whatever comes across my desk really. I'm a unique kind of hunter. Today, it was for a good cause."

"You aren't afraid you'll get hurt? Next time you might get more than a scar." Tara didn't want to see another person get pulled into this club and get hurt. Kit seemed like a nice girl but she didn't know how hard it was to live with some of the things these men did. Tara loved Jax and everyone here but a lot came with that. She had broken up with him to get out of the club but it seemed to always find a way to pull her back in, like today.

"I try not to think about it too much. Whatever happens, happens. Our lives are already fated," Kit said. "Besides, I like what I do and I'm good at it. If it puts me in dangerous situations with dangerous people, so be it. I chose this," Kit said. She didn't really have a feel for Tara yet. She seemed okay but it was like she was holding back on saying something.

They sat with that for a few minutes while Tara finished up. "All done," she said when she secured the white bandage around Kit's arm. "Just keep it clean and it should heal nicely. Come by in a week and I'll check the stitches out. They should be good to come out then."

"Thanks."

Tara squeezed her hand in a friendly way. "Be careful, Kit," she said. She packed away her stuff in her bag and left Kit with her thoughts. It was a strange encounter. She wondered what Tara would say if she knew that she might start dating Jax. Would she even have anything to say? Kit watched her go to her son and pick him up. He was really cute. She obviously loved Jax to stick around here despite the danger. Salazar wanted to kidnap his kid. This kind of environment came with its own risks.

Jax took Tara's seat. "All patched up?" he asked, smiling at Kit.

"Yeah, I'm good to go." She yawned. She wanted to go home and sleep. She was so tired she almost wanted to tell him they could figure the money thing out another time if it meant she could be in her bed. But Sean would kill her. "My car is still at work."

"Sleep in the back. No one will mind and I'd feel better if I knew you were safe while I'm gone." He still had to help deal with Salazar. He didn't really want to but it came with being the VP. This fuck could still hurt SAMCRO.

Kit wanted to dispute that it wouldn't be a good idea right now but her body refused. "Sure, that'd be great."

"Good." They both got up and he moved to kiss her good-bye but she turned away and walked off in the direction of his bedroom. He wondered why she would do that then it occurred to him that it had to be Tara. She was his ex and that could be uncomfortable since she was still in the room. Tig called him to go from the door. It was time to do his work.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for all the great support! Keep it coming. Hope you enjoy this one.


	5. Chapter 5

When Kit woke up, she was alone and in the dark. It took a few seconds to orient herself. She was in Jax Teller's bed in the SAMCRO clubhouse. All the events of the past 24 hours felt like they happened ages ago, like she might have just dreamed them. She pulled herself out of the bed and turned on the lamp. This was very strange being here, especially alone. She crossed the room and picked up her purse where she had left it on the desk. She flipped open her phone and turned it on to call Jax. An alert for six voice messages popped up on her screen. There were a dozen more texts all from William asking her to call. She would have to deal with him sooner or later. Later preferably.

Her phone started to vibrate in her hand. She smiled and answered it.

"I was just thinking about you," she said over the line.

"Yeah? You still at the clubhouse?" Jax asked.

"I just woke up."

"Good, stay exactly where you are. We're just wrapping up things here. I should be back soon."

"Stay _exactly_ where I am?" Kit asked in a playful tone. "In your bed? Are you going to seduce me, Jax Teller?"

He laughed a little. "It's a good possibility. Is that what you want?"

"It's a good possibility. See you soon," she said before hanging up. She had a huge grin on her face. She was excited. If all went well, it would be a really good night. She looked back at her phone. She resolved to turn it off when Jax got here. Another call from William would not be welcome tonight. She would also break up with him soon. Seeing two guys at once never went well for anyone.

Kit got back in bed and started checking her emails on her phone. She sent one to Sean so he knew she would be coming in tomorrow. Most were just spam or notifications. A knock at the door surprised her but was more than welcome. She was just waiting anyway.

"Come in," she called. She didn't want to get up again. She had shed her jeans to sleep and traded her bloodied top for one of Jax's SAMCRO ones she found in a drawer.

Rachel came in, closing the door behind her. "Hey, been awake long?"

"No, just a few minutes. What's up?"

She sat on the edge of the bed beside Kit. "Juice is going to drop me home when he gets back. If he takes the van we can give you a lift. We are going to the same place."

Kit saw where this was going. "It's okay. I have to go over some financial stuff with Jax."

"We can wait."

"It's okay, really Rachel. He needs to take me to get my car too. It's still at work and he mentioned that he wanted to talk to Sean about some things."

She nodded and looked at Kit, considering what to say next. She decided to just go with her gut. "You like Jax. It's really clear and it's totally fine. I just don't want you to do something that you're going to regret. As much as I don't really like William, he's still your boyfriend. He might not be as appealing as Jax is right now but it doesn't mean you should cheat on him."

Kit knew that Rachel had only the best intentions but she hated the way she was looking at her. Her cousin was judging her. As angry as that made her, it hurt more. "Who said I'm going to sleep with Jax?"

"You're in his bed waiting for him. And I know he wants you too. I can see the way he is around you."

She cleared her throat. "I can make my own decisions, Rach. You don't need to be concerned with what I do with Jax. That's the end of it."

Rachel got up. "Alright, but we both know you're going to make a mistake." She left her cousin with that and walked out of the room.

Kit covered her head with the blanket and groaned. Her excitement and good mood was completely deflated. The doubt had returned. What exactly was she doing? She was literally waiting for Jax in his bed like some whore. He was even going to pay her. But did it even matter in the grand scheme of things if she stayed, as long as she was going to break up with Will? She had already cheated on him. Did it really matter how many times?

By the time Jax came in, she had calmed down and come to the decision that she could make her own mistakes. No one would get hurt if no one knew.

"Did you sleep okay?" he asked her. He took off his shoes and cut and flopped on the bed next to her. He was exhausted but was glad that it was all over. They were good with the Mayans and now had a favor from Alvarez in their pocket.

Kit turned on her side to face him. "Yeah, great actually. This is way better than that table. Hope you don't mind that I borrowed a shirt. Mine was a bit bloody. Do you own anything without the club's logo on it?"

He laughed. "One or two shirts I think."

"How'd it go with Salazar? Did you get him away from the DEA?"

Jax liked that he could tell her the whole story. He was always open with Tara but Kit understood how things were done. She didn't shy away from the truth or recoil at the brutality that often came with being an outlaw. At least not yet. He told her the events of the past few hours. They'd used a lawyer to get to Salazar who was able to relay the message that they had Luisa. Once he was bailed out, the DEA put a tail on him that was a bit tricky to shake but once that was done, Alvarez's crew picked him up. Salazar and his girlfriend were either dead or in the process of dying.

"I'm glad everything worked out the way you wanted," Kit said when he was done. "I can't believe he was stupid enough to take the MC president's wife. There's just no way you can hope to survive at that point."

"Guess he was desperate," Jax remarked. He hoped he was never desperate enough to do something like that. He didn't want to think about it. "Let's not talk about dead men anymore. It's done."

"It is a bit grim for bedroom talk. If I recall, you did promise me a seduction."

"Promise?" he asked, smiling at her. "I believe I said it was a possibility."

"Oh, well in that case." She started to get out of the bed, first throwing the covers off herself and revealing her bare legs.

Jax grabbed her hand. "Come here, beautiful." He pulled Kit close to him and into a deep kiss. He had been looking forward to this all evening. She was someone he could actually see some kind of future with. He was thinking of their last time together on his ride over. Even though they had both been drinking, he remembered how different things felt with her. She wasn't just another notch on his bedpost and he knew it even then. Kit moved on top of him, straddling his hips.

"You mean to tell me, this entire time you weren't wearing pants and we've been talking about something else?" he asked, running his hands along her bare thighs. He wanted all of her. He sat up and pulled the SAMCRO shirt off her revealing a black lace bra that matched the underwear.

"Looks like my possibilities are looking up," she uttered before kissing him. She loved the way he looked at her, like she was everything he desired. She pulled off his shirt and threw it aside.

Jax flipped her over onto her back, their lips barely parting. His hands moved to her hips. He ripped through the lace of her underwear. He undid his belt, shed his pants and got on top of her. After a few moments, Kit stopped him, pulling away. "Wait, do you hear that?" she whispered. He stopped kissing her neck and his hands froze as he listened, trying to hear what she had.

"What?"

"Nothing…there's no one to interrupt us now."

It would be a fun night.

* * *

When Kit woke up in the morning, she didn't have a headache or hangover. She was able to see the mess of blond hair beside her and just smile instead of wince. There was no rush to get out from under the covers this time. She did have to go into work but Sean knew she was wrapping up a case. She could be there when she wanted and it wouldn't be for a while. She was currently on cloud nine and she didn't plan on coming down anytime soon.

She almost wanted to shake Jax awake just so they could talk. Or do more than talk. But he had a pretty exhausting couple of days. Kit couldn't believe how infatuated she had become with him. When she started dating William, she never had feelings this strong. She really wanted to get to know Jax more and she never wanted to leave this bed.

Kit sat up and took a deep breath then let it go. Things were moving too fast in her head. She needed to slow down and be calm. She often regretted how introspective she could be. Her movement had caused Jax to wake up. He turned over and saw her.

"Hey beautiful," he said, a smile forming on his lips. "Come here." He held out his arms and she moved into them, her head resting in the crook of his neck. He kissed her. "Last time you left so fast I never got to do this."

"Do what?"

"Hold you." They just lay like that for a couple minutes while the California sun shone through the blinds. Jax never spent enough time doing this with Tara. Their lives were too hectic. His life was anyway. Something always came up. He would enjoy this time with Kit while they had it.

The sounds of laughter in the clubhouse eventually allowed reality to set in. They had to get up and start the day. "Do we have to get up?" Kit asked.

Jax sighed. "Unfortunately. I'm going to take a shower. Care to join me?"

Kit grinned and kissed him to let him now her answer. Of course she would. It really was like she was in complete bliss. She couldn't remember the last time she felt like this. Nothing could ruin her mood or bring her down today, not even her real life. After their steamy shower, Kit and Jax went out to the main clubhouse area. Some of the Sons were around, Chibs, Opie, Bobby and Clay. Gemma was there too and was shooting daggers at the woman who was hanging on to her son's arm.

"I'll get Bobby to grab your money and then I'll drop you off, alright?" Jax told Kit. "What do we owe you?"

"Five thousand," she told him without hesitating. He was a bit surprised. "No one said I was cheap. Plus it isn't all for me. Information is costly and then Sean gets his cut."

"I just thought the sex would bring you down in cost a bit."

Kit smirked and hit him playfully. "That better not have been your intent last night." He left her at the bar with a coffee while he went to talk to Bobby and the other guys.

Gemma took this opportunity to make her acquaintance and make a few things clear. "I'm Gemma," she said, sticking out her hand to Kit.

"Kit West." She shook her hand. She had heard about Gemma from Rachel. She was nice from her accounts if not a little manipulative. She was a real matriarch with a huge mama bear complex. Jax was her cub and Kit's guess was that she didn't exactly approve of them together. "Nice to meet you."

"You're the one they paid to find that lunatic," she stated. Kit nodded. "Are they also paying to sleep with my son?"

She shrugged. "I did have to argue a little to get it in my contract."

"That's cute." Gemma wasn't impressed.

"What'd you really come over here to tell me?" Kit asked, cutting to the chase. This woman would not ruin her mood. She wouldn't allow Gemma to push her around or put her down.

"My son's already got an old lady. He doesn't need to waste time with you, a fact he'll soon realize once he drops you off. He's better off with his family," she said. "He doesn't need some croweater messing him up."

Kit sipped her coffee and just looked at Gemma, sizing her up. She was a pretty woman for her age. She still had that badass vibe that projected clearly she was a strong person that wouldn't put up with any bullshit. Her disposition just demanded respect. Kit actually sort of admired her. "Jax can make his own decisions."

"More like mistakes and guess who ends up cleaning that shit up?"

The man of the hour came over and put his arm around Kit. He was a little worried about what his mom could be telling her. She was probably threatening her to leave him alone or trying to use scare tactics. He knew Kit could hold her own but Gemma could be very manipulative when she wanted, especially with the women in his life. He didn't always approve of her methods but she did what she had to in order to protect her family.

"Everything okay?" Jax asked.

"Your mom just came over to say hello and welcome me to the club. It was really sweet of her," Kit said, smiling. She turned to him and kissed him. "We better get going, babe."

She knew she'd meet Gemma again if she stuck around and she refused to let this woman ruin things between her and Jax. Two could play this power game. Who knew, maybe they'd even get along one day if Gemma decided to actually give her a chance and got to know her. Kit wouldn't hold her breath on that but she'd stand her ground. With one last look at her, she and Jax left the clubhouse.

* * *

As great a mood as Kit was in all morning, she knew she had to handle the William situation. She had to break up with him. She genuinely cared about him but she really wanted to see where things could go with Jax. They couldn't move forward if she was still with her boyfriend. She was dreading the conversation, never being good in emotionally tense situations. She hadn't even worked up the nerve to call him. In some ways, she was glad that he showed up at her workplace at lunchtime. After terse first moments, she led him outside to the parking lot to talk.

"Where've you been?" he asked, looking more concerned and defeated than upset. He was past anger. "Do you know how worried I was about you?"

"Yeah, I know. Sorry," she offered. Nothing would mend those wrongs. "I was just upset about what happened still. Rachel asking me to go out with her just came at the right time."

"Why couldn't you just call to let me know you were pissed off? You could've just sent a text. It's not okay to just disappear off the face of the earth," he told her. "I thought something might have happened to you." He just wanted her back. She'd been weird the past few weeks, not herself. He could even forgive her recent disappearance if it meant that things would go back to normal.

Kit nodded. "I know that too. I was just in a mood. You know I'm not the best at dealing with shit." She imagined this going very differently. She imagined him yelling about how horrible she was that she could then segue into a break up situation. He was being unbelievably calm. It was a little unnerving.

William hugged her. "I love you Kit. I know you're always not big on talking but I want to get through this. Can we do that?"

She hesitated before pulling away from him. "William…I think we n-

"Stop, wait. I got you something to wear to the benefit tonight." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a flat velvet box. He opened it for her, revealing a beautiful diamond necklace. "I want to start over."

Kit sighed. She had forgotten all about the benefit. He'd been talking about it for weeks but it just wasn't really her kind of event. He thought he might get some kind of award. She had agreed to go and knew how much it meant to him. She even got a fancy gown for the occasion. "It's gorgeous."

He grinned. "So are you. It'll look perfect on you. I know we have issues to work out but let's just enjoy tonight. Everyone is looking forward to meeting you. We can deal with this later. It can just be like old times…"

"Yeah, of course," she told him and took the necklace. It would completely crush him to break up here and now. Tomorrow morning would be better. She'd do it. She promised herself that before she saw Jax again, she'd break it off with William.

He leaned down and kissed her. "I'll pick you up at 7:30, sweetheart."

Kit nodded and watched him go to his car and drive off. She touched her lips, where his had just been. It felt so wrong when he kissed her. She decided to go for a little walk to think about things, pulling out a cigarette for companionship. She thought back to her first meeting with William.

They met at the club where Rachel worked on New Year's Eve. She was feeling like shit all week leading up to it and her cousin had gotten her completely hopped up on free drinks. She decided that for one night, she wouldn't be Kit West. She wouldn't let the things that haunted her take her over anymore. She would be a single woman without a care in the world that was a secretary and whose biggest concern was who she was going to kiss at midnight. It happened to be William, the tall lawyer with a great smile. The man knew how to rock a tailored suit. They started dating soon after and it was just easier to be the Kit he met that night. She could act happy-go-lucky and like she was the nicest person on the planet. It was almost cathartic. She loved the story she had spun him about her perfectly normal past. Parents who were still alive but traveled a lot and a brother who lived in Amsterdam, so far away they wouldn't ever visit. She wished it was real and that the truth hadn't absolutely changed her. The Kit he knew was the person she could've been if things didn't completely go to shit. In a lot of ways, if she got together with Jax, she would really miss that girl. But maybe she didn't need her anymore.

The person she was with Jax was the real her. It was easy to relax with him, like she'd just unconsciously assumed that little would faze him. She didn't even know why she had told him anything about her parents but she had. He took it in and she didn't have an emotional breakdown. It was a pivotal moment for her even though she hadn't really said all that much about them. The last person she talked to about her mother was her aunt three years ago, on her deathbed. It was her dying wish to hear about her sister so Kit obliged. Her father was seven years before that. It was a conversation with her brother. She was telling him to get the fuck out of her life, that their dad wouldn't be proud to see him as a fucking cop. Kit took a long draw on the cigarette in her hand before tossing the butt aside. She shoved her brother back into his compartment in her brain and locked him away along with all her other bad memories. She was done thinking about him. All in a past life.

Kit circled the lot and then went back to her office to get some work done. She had some computer hacking to do before she could go play carefree girlfriend at this stupid lawyer benefit.

* * *

"Tara, don't you think I want to see my kid more?" Jax asked. He was almost yelling. He cared about his ex but he couldn't understand what she saw. He loved Abel. He would do anything for him.

"I know you do. Of course you do. I just don't think that you make him enough of a priority. You come by whenever you feel like it," she said. This was not going the way she wanted. She just wanted Abel to see more of his father. It was becoming harder to answer him when he asked, 'Where's Daddy?'

"You're living in my house. I don't see him as much as I did when we were all one big fucking happy family. I come by whenever I can and you know that."

She nodded. "Well, I'll be gone by the end of the week. My dad's place is ready for him."

When they broke up, it was just easier for her to stay in Jax's house with Abel. She'd had contractors fix up her father's old place so it would be more of a place she could call her own. It was also more child-friendly. It had been hard to do on her own but she was glad she'd done it this way. She didn't need Gemma's help or anybody from the club's.

"I love him," Jax said. He was tired of defending himself.

"I know you do. I never said you didn't. You're the VP of this club and you have responsibilities to your brothers. I know you're trying to provide for Abel but I just wish you were around more to see him growing up. You were in Stockton for so long and he's changing so fast. I don't want you to miss all that because of SAMCRO," Tara told him.

Jax understood where she was coming from. He wasn't angry at her but at himself. He wanted to be there for Abel but the club was important to him too. It was his family, everything he'd ever known. "I'll try to be around more," he said. "I'll pick him up tomorrow afternoon from daycare."

"Okay." They hugged and Jax took off.

He would always care about Tara and love her. He was almost glad they weren't together anymore. It had taken a lot of time for him to feel that way, after all the anger and resentment faded away. She was a surgeon and he was an outlaw. He would ruin her life and he didn't want that. He was glad she'd distanced herself from the club and in turn distanced Abel. Jax loved SAMCRO and he'd definitely done his share of bleeding for its survival but he wasn't sure it was a life he wanted for his son.

There was this expectation of him to take the gavel once Clay stepped down, like it was his destiny to walk in his father's footsteps as president. He wasn't sure that he wanted that anymore. When Abel was born, everything changed. He had something that was really worth living for. The risks of daily life in the MC were getting harder to justify. Clay didn't want to get out of guns and into more legitimate business. It was more lucrative to remain as criminals but what kind of legacy was that to leave Abel? It was better that he had a normal life with Tara. Jax had been raised into the club with both Gemma and JT playing prominent roles. He'd always aspired to be an outlaw like his father, feeling that there were no other options. That wasn't the way it would be for Abel.

Jax pulled into the TM lot and headed over to the clubhouse. He saw Piney outside, watching the prospect, Rat, box with Kozik in the ring by the door. He sat beside the old man at the picnic table. Jax had been turning to him lately, seeing him as a father figure more than a brother. He was JT's truest friend and one that shared his true vision for the club.

Jax took out a cigarette and watched the two men fighting.

"What's on your mind, Jax?" Piney asked.

"Just thinking about fathers."

"Your old man?"

Jax nodded. "Sometimes I feel like I never really knew him."

Piney took a swig from his glass of Petron. "He was a good man but he had his faults. He loved you but it was hard for him to be around you and Gemma after your brother passed away. He gave up after that."

"Gave up and started a new family in Belfast," he said bitterly. When he found out about that, a part of him resented his father. Jax and his mom both needed him and he just picked up and left, abandoning them.

"You don't know the pain of having a dead son. I'm not saying what he did was right but you shouldn't judge him." Piney looked at his best friend's son. "You're not your father, Jax. You know that."

Jax did know. His father was weak. He let Clay take over the club and his family while he stood by and did nothing. He didn't want this life for his sons but he didn't do anything to stop that. Jax wondered how different things would be if JT were still alive and at the head of the table.

"I'm starting to think the legacy of this club might be bad fathers," Piney said. "My son can't even be around his own kids. He loves them but he doesn't know them. I wasn't the greatest father." He drained the rest of his tequila. "The rest of these idiots, Tig, Bobby, Chibs…none of them know their kids."

"I'm not them," Jax said, more to himself than the old man. Tara's concerns became legitimate in that light. In this moment, he promised himself that he would never put his brothers, or anything else, ahead of his son. He would always be there for Abel.

They watched Rat take a hard hit to the side and fall. "You're the only one who can change things, Jax. This club will die if you let it," Piney told him.

Jax nodded and went inside. He knew Piney was thinking of JT's memoir. He was right and Jax wanted to change things. It had been a long road since they got out of Stockton. They needed money after taking such a hit with most of them inside and the fastest way was to go deeper into the gun trade, now selling to Lin and some crime families in Reno. He kept telling himself it was temporary but in his head, he knew it wouldn't be. Once they got used to the cash of selling more, his brothers wouldn't want to go back, naturally. He needed to make finding legal business opportunities more of a priority. Hopefully, they wouldn't end up like Cara Cara and burn to the ground.

Jax pulled out his father's manuscript from where he hid it behind the bookshelf. He went to his spot on the roof and started reading. JT may not have been father of the year but his wisdom and insight had comforted Jax over the years. Maybe he could find the answers he sought within these pages again.

* * *

A/N: Longer than usual but I wanted to get these scenes out before going anywhere new. Hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you think, good or bad. And here are some fun facts about SOA I realized this week just because. Regarding names: Opie's name is Harry Winston like the jeweller and Happy's is Happy Lowman like in Death of Salesman (Loman, but still). I wonder if Kurt Sutter did this deliberately or if its just a coincidence? Thoughts? xo A


	6. Chapter 6

Kit sighed and pushed her lunch off her desk and into the garbage bin on the ground. William had just left after dropping it off. Things had gone from bad to worse. He was being so sweet lately that it just never seemed like the right time to break it off. He had made it really clear that he both needed and loved her. Every time Kit built up enough nerve to say something, it quickly diminished whenever Will was actually in front of her. She could stand in front of a woman shooting bullets without fear but not her own boyfriend. On top of that, she'd broken her promise to herself and seen Jax. They'd been hanging out a lot actually. He had spent the night at Kit's a couple of times when Rachel was out. Her revised promise was that she wouldn't have sex with Will ever again. So far it'd been working. She lied and said she had a yeast infection. That's the thing about lies. Once you start, it's like they all become so insignificant that you didn't even feel bad doing it anymore.

She rested her head on the desk for a while. There was so much work to do. Everyone had lost things. Her latest assignment was a search for a 21-year old runaway who was supposedly hiding somewhere in the area with a few pieces of very valuable jewelry she nicked from her aunt.

"Rough day?" The last person Kit ever expected to show up at her office stood before her looking absolutely fabulous. "Can I come in?" she asked, not waiting for an answer before sitting at the chair in front of her desk. Gemma Teller-Morrow, the SAMCRO matriarch, in the flesh.

Kit sat up straight in her chair. "What are you doing here?"

"I think we got off on the wrong foot. You aren't the woman I thought you were. My son actually seems to care about you," she said, still sounding a little surprised about it. "I never thought he'd get over Tara but I can see a difference in him since he's been seeing you. He's happier."

Kit nodded and waited for the demands to come in. Gemma had been nothing but cold toward her since they met. She obviously wanted something the way she was buttering her up. She wouldn't have come all the way to Lodi if she didn't.

"Not very talkative, are you?"

"What do you want Gemma?" she asked. "I have other work to do."

She nodded. Even though she didn't show it, she had a small growing fondness for this woman. As much as she was unsure about her for Jax, Kit had shown her nothing but respect no matter how badly she treated her. Gemma liked how she straight forward she could be. "I need your help. It's about Tara. She has something, a set of letters, that I need."

Kit pulled out her notepad and a pen. She didn't expect that this would be a real job. "Letters to who?"

Gemma eyed her with a smirk. "It don't matter. They were meant for Jax to find and if he reads them it would end with murder and destroy the club. I know you care about Jax but you don't know him like I do. He can't find out about this or those letters."

"Why didn't Tara give them to him? She must know who they were intended for."

"She understands that Jax can't read them, especially now, with the way things are with Clay. It would ruin their relationship and our family. It would also really hurt my son and she doesn't want that. I can't let her hold this threat over the club. When she gets emotional, she gets stupid," Gemma explained. "I broke into her office a couple of weeks ago and found them. She made copies and moved the originals."

"Where are the copies now?" Kit asked.

"I have them."

Kit put down her pen. "Sorry but what exactly do you need me to do? You seem to be figuring things out just fine. It sounds like it's only a matter of time before you get the originals yourself."

"We don't have time. I got worried and told Clay about the letters. I don't know what he's going to do if he doesn't get his hands on them. You know how desperate men act."

"Unfortunately, I do." Kit considered the offer. It was important not only to Gemma but to the club. Clay never rubbed her the right way. Something about him just struck her as selfish and untrustworthy. Jax had been clashing with him lately about the direction of the club. He'd told her that before he went into Stockton, things were really bad between them. From what it sounded like, these letters could completely change the father-stepson dynamic for the worse. Something in them implicated Clay in a way that threatened his life and position. Maybe they even involved Gemma too.

"I need this done fast. Can you swing it?" she asked.

She nodded before she'd thought of all the risks. "I'll find them today and we'll just say you owe me one." A plan had already started to materialize in her brain.

"That's it? You're not going to overcharge me like you did the club?" she asked, her eyebrows raised.

Kit smirked. "Let's just say that I like the idea of you owing me a favor. Do we have a deal?" She stuck out her hand and Gemma shook it.

She got up to leave. "Bring them by the garage when you have them."

As soon as she walked out, Kit turned to her computer and got to work. She pulled up the St. Thomas Hospital page. It was time to figure out everything she could about Dr. Tara Knowles.

* * *

Kit knocked on the door of Tara's office. On the average day, she'd be a bit tentative about an encounter like this. Tara was nice the last time they talked but a lot had changed since then. She and Jax weren't officially anything, just spending time together. Who knew how Tara might react to her being with her ex? But today was different as she was here on business. She came off most confident at work.

The doctor was in. Tara opened the door, a bit surprised to see the woman before her.

"Kit, hi. What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Can we talk?"

"Of course, come in." Kit sat in the chair in front of the desk and waited for the doctor to take hers. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you. It's about Gemma actually," Kit started. Tara immediately became guarded. "She asked me for a favor. She's looking for some letters that she thinks you have."

Tara got nervous. How did Gemma know about them? She hadn't told anyone except Piney and he wouldn't say a word. There were some pretty incriminating things in those pages. "Uh…I don't know what she's talking about."

"She already found them and took the copies."

"What?" She fished the key to the desk drawer out of her lab coat. She opened it and took out the manila envelope. She pulled the papers out and saw they were blank. It really was true. "That sneaky bitch. I'm not giving her anything," Tara told her. "They weren't meant for her. I can't believe she broke into my office."

Kit cocked her head to the side. "Really?"

Tara smiled slightly. "You're right. I know how she can get. Is she giving you a hard time?"

"She's not being friendly if that's what you mean. I figure this will win some points and when I really need it, she'll return the favor." She crossed her legs. "What's in the letters? She was pretty worried about Jax seeing them."

"They're love letters to John Teller from a woman he was seeing in Belfast," Tara said, which was true. She wasn't sure if she should tell Kit the whole story. She didn't know her or how serious she was about Jax.

"I know there's more. You can trust me. I won't tell Jax, or anybody for that matter. You obviously know him better than I do. If you think he shouldn't have them now, I can respect that. It's your choice," Kit told her. Tara looked at her tentatively. "I want to help you."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "I like you. You care about Jax and you'll always be his family. You love his kid and you've been nice to me so far, unlike his dear mother. And to be honest, I could have tried to find these on my own. I'm guessing they're either somewhere in your house, Jax's, or that storage locker you have. My money's on the locker. It's discreet and probably hidden under a ton of stuff, which would make it hard to find. Unless you have some other secret place to stash things that no one knows about…"

Tara leaned back in her chair and thought about what Kit said. Jax seemed to trust and care about her. She didn't seem to be malicious or like she would go back on her word. And she knew exactly where the letters actually were. She took a deep breath and decided to take a leap of faith. "JT thought Clay was going to try and kill him. He even says specifically how he thought he would do it. It's what really happened. JT's bike malfunctioned and he was hit by a semi."

Kit didn't expect that. Not at all. She almost regretted agreeing to not tell Jax now. He had a right to know. "You weren't going to tell Jax something that important?"

Tara got up and started pacing. "Of course I was. I just couldn't spring it on him once he got out of jail and then we broke up. I know if I hand these over to him that I'm sentencing a man to death. I don't know that I can do that."

"I can."

"How?"

"Clay deserves it. He killed Jax's father, his best friend and fellow patch. There's no turning the other cheek to that." It hit a little too close to home. Kit had never killed anyone but if she had the opportunity to end the life of the man who was responsible for her parents' deaths, she would pull the trigger in a heartbeat. "You have to tell him."

She exhaled heavily. "I will, eventually," she said and sat on the couch.

Kit turned to her. "I need the original letters. Clay knows about them and I don't trust him. He knows what's in these and he'll do _anything_ to stop you giving them to Jax. I'll scan them to a disk and give the originals to Gemma. You can always print them and give them to Jax later. How does that sound?"

Tara nodded and smiled. "It sounds like a plan." She reached into her pocket and took the key to the storage locker off her key ring. She tossed it to Kit. "You were right, they're in the locker. Near the back in a box of TM invoices."

"I'll drop the disk by later in the week." She got up to go.

"Thanks for doing this, Kit. I hope it works out with you and Jax. He seems happier than he's been in a long while," Tara said. Their break-up had been pretty explosive and it left them both upset for months. It was hard to see Jax with someone else and for him to be so happy at that but it was a pill she had to swallow. This is what she wanted despite the lingering feelings she'd always have for him. She felt like hugging Kit but thought it'd be too much. Under Gemma's regime, the women of SAMCRO hadn't exactly been nice to her lately. Jax's last flame, Ima, was particularly nasty.

"I'm really glad you came to me."

"Yeah, me too. I'll see you around, Tara." Kit gave her a warm smile and walked out.

* * *

It was well into the night when Kit arrived at the TM garage. The day had been long and all she wanted to do was curl up on the couch with a glass of wine under a blanket. She had gotten three jobs done, including the one for Gemma. It was easy once Tara gave up the letters. She considered breaking into the locker first but figured that asking might be a better route. Jax's ex wasn't a monster and she'd always be in his life. If she had done things as she originally planned, knowing Gemma, she would probably turn Tara against her using this incident if she saw the need in the future. She could still try. This way everyone stayed happy.

She pulled herself out of her car and checked herself in the window's reflection, fixing a few flyaway's in her long, dark hair. She'd decided to hand the letters over to Clay and Gemma together, not simply the latter. She needed the security that came with the real threat being extinguished. Who knew what would happen to the letters once they disappeared with Gemma? Tara had to remain safe.

After checking the TM office and seeing it empty, Kit knew she'd have to go into the clubhouse. There was a party going on, probably just a regular post-church event. There were two reasons she didn't want to go in. One was that she and Rachel were on the outs. Her cousin wasn't speaking to her ever since she had seen Jax and her together. She knew William and her will still attached and Rachel definitely didn't approve of the triangle Kit somehow found herself in. The second was that she didn't want Jax to know she'd helped Gemma. He would ask questions and she didn't want to lie to him. It was in everyone's best interest if this business was dealt with quietly.

Kit made her way through the people, smiling at those she had met before. She spotted Rachel and Juice on the couch, talking closely. Gemma was standing at the bar with Tig, a beer in her hand. She saw Kit and immediately came over.

"You get them?" she asked, her anxiety coming out slightly in her voice.

"Yeah, but I want to give them to you and Clay. He has to know they're in your possession and that Tara doesn't have them anymore," she told Gemma.

She was taken aback. "I'm going to destroy them, darlin'. We don't need to involve Clay in this. It's our business. He has more important things to attend to, you know being President."

Kit just waited, looking at Gemma. The matriarch would give in. The ball was in Kit's court after all and she was the one with the letters. She could do whatever she wanted, even tell Jax. After a good minute, Gemma conceded.

"Fine, I'll play by your rules. Come by the house tomorrow morning and we'll finish this up." She smirked at her. So many women came through here and did their best to impress her just to get an in with the Sons. Kit stood her ground and treated her as an equal instead of putting her on a pedestal. Gemma respected that.

"That will work," she said, pleased they could come to an agreement easily. Now all she had to do was say hi to Jax and she could split. She scanned the room and saw him in a compromising position. He was sitting talking to Opie while a woman sat comfortably perched on his lap. Kit wasn't expecting it and it felt like a slap in the face.

"What are you going to do about that?" Gemma asked, hand on one hip, eyeing her son with that bitch, Ima. "You may not be an old lady yet but she has to know he's not a free dick." She gave her a light push in that direction.

Kit walked over to Jax, suddenly wondering where Rachel was. She wasn't anywhere to be seen. It would have been nice to have a little back up even though she needed to do this on her own, whatever this was. Jax saw her approaching and winked, but the woman on his lap saw her first. She rose to face Kit and head her off.

"Hey guys," Kit said, attempting to move around the blond. She was stick thin but looked fierce, like she would totally take Kit on if it came to that.

"What do you think you're doing, honey? These men are occupied right now. Best you run along. You don't belong here," she said, hands on her hips. "What are you waiting for? Go on." She took a step closer and got right in Kit's face.

Kit wasn't sure what it was that set her off. It could have been this woman's sense of self-importance, her stance, the way she was dressed (or wasn't), or maybe the overall situation. It also didn't help that she was never good at personal confrontation. She burst out in laughter. She took a step back and covered her mouth in an attempt to stop but it was the kind of laughter that was simply unstoppable and contagious. She looked at Opie who had started to smile and chuckle. "Is this really happening?"

Disgust flashed across the woman's face and she raised her hand to hit Kit but she had anticipated this and grabbed the blond's wrist. Her laughter decreased at the threat. Jax stepped between them before it escalated. "That's enough, Ima. We're good here." He watched her stalk off to the bar, glaring at them.

Kit raised her eyebrows at him, a smile still lingering on her lips. "Was she being serious? Should I not have laughed?"

"She is kind of joke," he told her, an amused look on his face. "I didn't think you'd be coming by but I'm glad you're here." He pulled her in for a kiss, taking her face into his hands. A part of her always melted when he kissed her that way. It was like he was holding on to her, like it might be the last time he'd ever get to kiss her.

"Is this what you do in your spare time, Jackson? Entertain scantily clad women who pounce at the sight of a little competition?" she asked, grinning and not nearly upset as she thought she'd be. It was like she suddenly remembered that she was seeing the VP of an outlaw motorcycle club and they were in no way exclusive.

"She's just a croweater and there is no competition when it comes to you." Jax took her hand and started to lead her across the room. "I actually want to talk to you." He brought her to the hatch that led to the roof, wanting some privacy. He pulled it down and after a bit of hesitation from Kit, they both went up.

They sat in his spot that looked down over the TM lot, Jax's arm around Kit. He had grown to really care about her. She was sweet, funny, sexy, and she could be tough as nails when she had to be. He could talk to her about club business and she usually had good, logical advice. She was introspective and thought things through before acting, unlike Jax most of the time. It was a nice balance. The only thing that bothered him was that she occasionally got a bit distant. One day Jax would feel really close to her and the next Kit would act like it was nothing, like they were just really casual. To be fair, they hadn't discussed their relationship but it was frustrating. He wanted more but it wasn't clear if she did.

"What's on your mind?" Kit asked.

"You've never told me what you think of Clay," he said, unsure of how to start.

Jax wanted to talk to someone impartial about the changes Clay was making behind the club's back. He wanted to start selling guns back to the Russians. There was a new regime in place that reached out. Jax didn't trust them but they were requesting a huge order that would mean a lot of cash for the club if they could pull it off.

"He's your step-father and the president of the club. A bit intimidating and seems a bit sneaky. Why are you asking?" The last thing Kit wanted to do was say the wrong thing about him or express her true feelings. She had spent an hour skimming JT's letters and had concluded that Clay Morrow was a monster. When the time was right, if Tara didn't show them to Jax, she would.

"He wants to expand and start selling merchandise back to the Russians."

"The same ones that stabbed you in prison?" She thought of the scars on his abdomen.

"Different men but same old Russians. It passed in church but it just doesn't feel right."

She looked at his conflicted expression. She didn't feel right about it either. "People don't just forget, especially criminals. Is there anything you can do to change their minds?"

He shook his head, regretfully. "They're sending over someone to talk numbers tonight. Clay agreed to it before he put it up for a vote. He just wants to get as much money as he can before he steps down. He doesn't fucking care about this club anymore or he wouldn't have made a call like this." He sounded bitter and even he noticed.

"His hands are going. It's only a matter of time before he can't ride. You just have to ride this shit out for a bit longer," she told him. "Then you can really change things, set this club right."

Jax held her closer and kissed her head. "Yeah, I can."

"I have a proposition for you actually. It could jumpstart that change." Kit stood up so she could face him. She wasn't sure why she was a bit nervous. She'd been sitting on this for days. "My uncle's best friend, Ben, is thinking of selling his gun store in Stockton. It's not the biggest operation but there's room for expansion and it's near the gun range. I could introduce you. It's not on the market yet. He wants the right buyer before selling his life's work."

Jax half-smiled. This was really unexpected and a great idea. "You want us to go from running illegal guns to selling legal ones."

"You're the one who said you wanted to legitimize. You don't have to meet him if you think it won't work out," she said. She had begged Ben not to tell anyone else about selling until he met Jax and the club so she was secretly hoping they'd at least get to meet.

"It can't hurt to talk," he said. "We'll set something up this week."

He held out his arms and Kit gladly went back into them. It meant a lot that she thought not just of him but also of the club. It was something an old lady would do, a fact that wasn't lost on Jax. They just stayed like that for a while, close. He liked that when he was with her they didn't always have to talk. Quiet was good and comfortable.

The quiet didn't last long though. A van screeched into the TM lot and the shots of semi-automatic weapons sounded. Jax immediately pushed Kit to the ground to protect her. They heard more gunshots, likely from Sons, and then the sound of the vehicle driving off. It was quiet for a moment until the screams from below were all they heard.

* * *

A/N: I hope you liked this instalment. Please review/drop me a line and let me know what you think. My thoughts about Clay this week, "a khal who cannot ride is no khal"

xox-A


	7. Chapter 7

Kit hadn't felt real fear like this in a long time. She followed Jax down the ladder to the clubhouse and saw the damage that had been done. There were bullet holes all along one wall and broken glass littering the floor. People were bleeding and crying everywhere. All Kit could think of was Rachel. She pushed through everyone and finally spotted her cousin sitting on the ground, alone with her head down to her knees. Panic flooded through her body as she ran over to her, praying she wasn't hurt.

"Rach, are you okay?" Kit asked, frantic.

Rachel looked up and hugged Kit tightly without any hesitation. Her heart was racing. She was taking big inhales but shallow exhales. She was shaking. She was having a panic attack. She felt herself calming down as Kit rubbed her back gently. Everything going on between them the past few weeks didn't matter. Rachel couldn't imagine her not being here now.

"It's over, Rach. You're safe, you're fine," Kit told her softly. She looked around and saw that despite the assault, most people were okay or hit with minor injuries. It wasn't as bad as it looked. She heard the sirens getting louder outside as police and ambulances approached. "Is Juice okay?"

Rachel nodded, her breathing evening out. "We just walked in from outside and the firing began. If it had been a minute later…"

Kit released her and looked at her face. Her mascara was all smeared. "It's going to be okay. Everyone who's hurt will go to the hospital and the guys will figure this stuff out." She really couldn't think of the poor souls who were outside when the drive-by happened.

"How can you be so calm?"

"I think I'm just in shock. You're okay and that was my biggest worry." She didn't see Jax or any of the other Sons. Gemma and some of the other old ladies were floating around though, trying to make sure everyone was okay and helping where they could. "Where is Juice?"

"He went with the others, after the shooters." She hugged Kit again. "What if he gets hurt? I can't deal with this Kit. It's too much. It's one thing to know he's out there but now he's after people who obviously want him dead. What if he doesn't come back?" She was getting worked up again.

Kit kissed her head. "Rach, he's going to be fine. He's with his brothers and they won't let anything bad happen to him. He's tough, babe. You know that." She sat Rachel back on the floor. Kit needed to get her home. Being here with all the anxiety in the air was making her worse. She got her a bottle of Jack from the bar and ordered Rachel to drink some to calm her nerves.

The police arrived and the circus began. They began taking names and questioning witnesses while the ambulances took away the wounded. Coroners took the dead. Four hang arounds, one of them a potential prospect, had died. Bobby was hit in the shoulder but he would be okay. The girl he had on his lap did not fare as well and had undergone massive blood loss. She was rushed to ICU. Opie was also hit pretty bad and was off to St. Thomas too. Kit had heard one of the girls saying they needed to bring Lyla clothes in the hospital because hers were covered in Ope's blood. Kit was almost glad she was planted inside on the ground with Rachel. It almost made it less real, less intense. She didn't know how she would feel if she actually saw Opie or any of the other people who were seriously injured.

A slew of other people were hit or grazed by bullets and/or cut by glass from the broken windows. The hospital would be having a crazy night. Luckily, most of the Sons had gotten away and were able to go after the shooters. To say everyone was shaken up was a major understatement.

Gemma looked over at Kit and Juice's girlfriend, Rachel, sitting on the ground across the room. They hadn't moved since before the police got here. Rachel had her head on Kit's shoulder, eyes closed and an open bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand. It looked half-empty from her vantage point. The matriarch walked over to check on the women.

"She okay?" she asked, looking at Rachel with real concern in her eyes. She liked this woman, especially for Juice. His last girlfriend was certifiably insane so Rachel was definitely a welcome change. She was a sweetheart who always volunteered to help where she could. It had been rough for her to fit in here in the beginning but she had come around.

Kit stroked her cousin's red-brown hair gently. "Just had a little too much to drink. All she needs is a bed and she'll be fine."

"I'm going to the hospital to check on the boys. You should come by. I know it'll mean a lot to Jax," Gemma told her.

"So, I do you one favor and suddenly you're on my side?" Kit asked her, coming across a lot more snarky than she meant. "Sorry, that's not what I meant. It's been a long day and an even longer night. I've got to take Rachel home. I think it might be best if I stay with her. She was pretty hysterical before. We can come by in a few hours once we know a little more."

"Do what you gotta do," Gemma said, a little prickly.

She understood that this situation was difficult but if Kit couldn't handle a little blood, then she was with the wrong guy in the wrong club. Pushing through and being strong was what being an old lady was all about. This club was a family. They'd just bled together and now they would heal together. By not going to the hospital, Gemma saw Kit as not being someone who could handle that kind of lifestyle and relationship. If Jax was serious about her, he would need her at the hospital and she just wouldn't be there.

Gemma watched Kit haul Rachel up and out of the clubhouse immediately after Sheriff Roosevelt gave everyone the go ahead to leave. She just hoped she remembered to deliver those damn letters in the morning.

* * *

Kit looked at her phone vibrating in her hand. It was Jax. She had just gotten home with Rachel and put her to bed. The weight of the whole night had hit her hard when she was by herself. She could have died tonight. Rachel could have. They were just lucky. In her heart, Kit knew that this stuff didn't happen regularly and that tonight was an exception but there was a nagging thought in her brain that opposed that. She liked Jax but he came with a lot of baggage and risk. Did she want that in her life? In the end, her heart won out and she answered his call.

"Hey," she said into the receiver.

"How are you doing?" he asked, concern in his voice.

"I'm fine, just a little shaken up. What about you? Did you catch those fuckers?"

"Yeah, but I need you to do me a favor. I wouldn't normally ask but Juice is with us and this will go faster if you do this. Can you run some names for us, check out the affiliations of these shit-heads?" he asked.

Kit got up and grabbed a pen and some paper. "Give me the names and I'll call you back with some answers."

As she got the info, she knew she was getting herself deeper into things with Jax and this club by agreeing to do this. Before, all she was sure of was that she liked him. He was a little dangerous, tough, sexy, and he made her feel safe. But now that danger was real and the risk of being with him was stark and she couldn't ignore it anymore.

They said their goodbyes and Kit put each name into the police database on her laptop. The group of names Jax gave her were a mixed bag of small time criminals that had been in and out of prison. None had any significant connections to any major gangs in the area. It was likely that someone had hired them to do their dirty work. But there was one person that stuck out. She called Jax back but got Juice on the pre-pay instead.

"Henry Turner, the tall one with the scorpion tattoo on his neck has a brother connected to the Russian Mob out of Vegas. He was never affiliated formally with them though. Those other guys all have records for petty crime and have each done time somewhere but there's nothing of note really," she told him. She had a really bad feeling about this.

"That's something to chew on." He paused. "How's Rachel doing? I felt terrible leaving her there but we had to go before the cops came."

"I get that. It was just really scary. You should come and see her when you're done out there. She's…she's just not okay."

One of his brothers called out to him in the background. "Thanks Kit," he said and hung up.

Kit closed her laptop. She felt like Alice, that she had fallen down the rabbit hole. What had she gotten herself into with Jax? Before her thoughts could get the better of her, she crept into Rachel's room and got under the covers with her. They could get through this together and her neurotic thoughts could wait for the morning.

* * *

Jax pulled up to Kit's house around dawn. He was exhausted. He'd been up all night and they weren't really any closer to figuring out who attacked the clubhouse. The small Russian connection wasn't solid and Clay wasn't willing to sour the huge deal the club had with the Mob on a whim. It could be a coincidence. They wouldn't act until they knew anything for sure.

After calling his mom and finding out what the status was on the wounded, he decided that he was no use to anyone unless he was at least a little rested. Opie was stable and would be okay but he was pretty banged up. It would take a few weeks to fully recover. Bobby was fine and would be discharged within a couple days. One of the croweaters had pulled through too but besides that, five people were dead and a lot were wounded. He was thankful that he happened to be on the roof with Kit, that they both made it out of this thing unscathed.

Gemma also warned him about Kit's attitude. She didn't think she was cut out to be with him. He dismissed it though. Sometimes you had to take yourself out of the club mentality. Kit was probably just scared when she split and no one should fault her for that. Not everyone could be as strong as Gemma.

Jax knocked on Kit's door and waited for her to come down. The shooting was terrible for everyone but he didn't want it to scare her away. He cared about her and even though he wasn't sure where this was going, he didn't want it to end yet. A minute later the door swung open. Kit was still wearing the clothes he last saw her in and she looked just as tired as he felt. She stepped aside wordlessly to let him in. He pulled her into his arms and just held her for a moment.

She squeezed back tightly. "Jax…"

"I know."

"We need to talk."

"We will." It was a conversation he was dreading. He could see the fear and confusion in her eyes.

Kit wasn't sure how she felt about him anymore but she was glad he was here. She led him up to her bedroom where they both crawled into bed. She went into his arms and they both fell asleep quickly, yearning to forget last night for a few hours.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for long delay. I was having some computer issues/am getting ready to move soon so pretty hectic. Anyway, hope you liked this. Let me know what you think. I know it's a bit short but more to come real soon! xo - A


	8. Chapter 8

Jax opened his eyes and looked around, orienting himself to the surroundings. He was at Kit's. He reached on to the bedside table and picked up his ringing prepay cell that had woken him up. When he turned over, he saw that Kit was awake. She looked deep in thought. When she noticed him looking at her, she half-smiled and got up, disappearing into the ensuite bathroom. He heard the shower turn on.

"Yeah?" Jax said into the phone. The clock on the bedside table read 12:33 pm.

"Just thought you'd like to know that Opie's awake," came his mother's voice down the line. "I thought you were coming by the hospital. He's asking for you."

"Yeah, I'm on my way," he told her, yawning.

"Have you heard from Kit?"

"I'm with her now. She'll probably come by too. Do me a favor and don't give her a hard time when you see her, ma," he said.

Gemma scoffed. "What makes you think I'll give her a hard time? I'll see you soon, baby."

Jax closed the phone and sat up. He didn't mean to sleep this long although he did feel a lot better. He called Tig to check in on where they were with the shooters but they didn't have any leads yet. Clay was meeting with his Russian contact in an hour. Finally, he checked in with Tara to make sure everything was okay with Abel. He was certain that she would have called had something gone wrong but it put his mind at ease to know everyone he loved was okay.

He looked over at the bathroom door. He considered going to join Kit in the shower but then thought against it. After a night like yesterday, she needed some space.

A few minutes later, Kit emerged from the bathroom in a towel. "Morning," she muttered, going to her closet without looking at him. She started getting dressed, pulling things on in a somewhat rushed manner.

"Sleep okay?" he asked, tentative. He couldn't gauge her mood.

"Fine."

"Kit, just stop for a second. Are you okay? Are _we_ okay?"

She looked over at him, reluctantly. She wasn't sure she wanted to deal with the events of last night just yet. It was just so much. It had effectively changed everything, including the way she felt about him. She was still trying to work through it in her head but she knew that in relationships, you had to talk.

"I don't know anymore, Jax." She bit her bottom lip. "I'm scared."

He stood and took a step toward her but stopped when she took an involuntary step back, away from him. "Of me?"

"No…I don't know. This is so frustrating. I just don't know how the hell I found myself in a situation like last night. I know I was okay and Rachel was too but it was terrifying. And the worst part is that you weren't there. You left me alone without looking back."

"You know who I am, Kit. I had to go," he said, getting upset.

"I know and I get it. I really do. It's not…that's not what I mean. I'm not mad that you left. I just don't know if I can deal with that being the way it is. It's like I took the risk of you being a Son and an outlaw for granted and last night everything got very real."

Jax didn't want this to happen. She was pushing him away. "I know it was hard to deal with, that it was bad. But it was just one incident. The clubhouse has never been attacked like that before. I would never let anything bad happen to you, Kit."

"What if we had gone out to the front instead of the roof? What happened to Opie could have been you or me," Kit said, her voice becoming unsteady.

"But it didn't. Don't let one bad thing ruin all the good things we have." Jax wanted to hold her but was she almost backing herself into a corner, literally. "If you need time to think about things, I can go."

Kit nodded, looking at her hands. "Yeah, I think you should."

"It's not always going to be like this. SAMCRO is a family and as long as you're with me, you won't ever really be alone, darlin'."

"Family? How fast are we moving that we're already at family?" she asked, incredulously. It was like something had snapped inside her. Every fear and insecurity she had about Jax in this moment had manifested into this sudden reaction.

"Kit, I-

"Do you know where you should start? You could start with telling me what the fuck you think we are, Jax. As far as I can tell, all we do is fuck and talk on the odd occasion. I never said I wanted to be a part of all this. I never said I wanted any of it." Even though Kit knew it wasn't true, it was like she was possessed and she couldn't stop. "Where exactly do you think we're going?"

Jax glared at her, speechless. He didn't think she'd go this far or that any part of her felt that way about him. He thought they were moving toward a real relationship. He really cared about her and he was under the impression she felt at least somewhat the same way. Maybe this was the reason she got distant and detached sometimes. Either way, he had too much going on in his life right now to deal with this on top of everything else.

"Not the same place as you, obviously," Jax told her, hurt lingering in his voice. "I don't need this today, not from you."

He put on his shoes, grabbed his cut and walked out. As he got on his bike, everything his mom had ever said about Kit flooded his brain. Gemma was right about it all; Kit wasn't right for him. She couldn't handle this life and was just some chick who didn't know the first thing about what she wanted. She really was just some croweater that got in his head, someone he could and would forget.

* * *

Gemma watched Kit cross the TM lot from the garage office. She saw the silver car pull in five minutes earlier. She imagined the woman was working up some nerve. When Jax arrived at the hospital in a bad mood without Kit in tow, it was clear they had a fight. It must have been bad because when Gemma mentioned her name, his anger flared and he dismissed her as a fling, someone that was no longer important.

When Kit finally made it over, she walked through the open door of the office and closed it behind her. She reached into her bag and pulled out a brown accordion folder, handing it to Gemma.

"Here they are," she simply said.

Gemma eyed her. Kit didn't look her best, far from it. Her hair was pulled back and she wasn't wearing any makeup. She didn't look sad, just empty almost. It was like she was a shell, just going through the motions. "I thought you wanted to give them to Clay."

"I trust you'll show him. Something tells me that you don't want the mother of your grandson hurt. If you did, you wouldn't have come to see me."

"Where'd you find them?"

Kit shifted her weight, looking annoyed. "The storage locker. I have to go. Good-bye Gemma."

"Bye." Despite everything, Gemma saw something in Kit that reminded her of herself once. She was a girl in over her head. Gemma could remember a time when she barely knew what she was doing with JT. She was in love with him but it came with a lot. It wasn't always easy. She had a baby keeping them together. It was obvious Kit really cared about her son. But evidently, it wasn't enough.

With one last look at the SAMCRO matriarch, Kit walked out of the office. She took a deep breath and exhaled as she headed over to her car. This was the last thing she had to do. She could keep it together long enough to make it to her car and then she could forget this whole thing with Jax Teller. An affair gone on long enough. It had just gotten out of her control. He had grown out of the little box in her brain she had kept him stored away. Once she drove out of here, she could shove him back in there because she wouldn't be seeing him anymore. Even though she never meant to say the things she did, maybe it was for the best. He wasn't the man for her. She couldn't handle his lifestyle and it was better things ended now before they got more serious. Perhaps Tara had been smart to get out while she could.

The familiar roar of a motorcycle broke her out of her thoughts. She looked up just as a few of the Sons pulled in, among them Jax. He zipped by without stopping or a second glance. She knew that it was her fault he was ignoring her and she accepted it. This was the way things had to be now. She hurried the last few steps to her car, got in and drove off without looking back.

* * *

Kit felt amazing. She completely understood why people drank alcohol. It just erased things, like memories and feelings. She could muse that everything would be alright and genuinely feel that it was true. She knew it was temporary but she was actually happy in this moment. She had finally taken Rachel up on her offer of having a girl's night out. She needed it after the beyond shitty day she had.

She broke up with Jax. Drink.

She not only broke up with him but made him feel like she didn't give a shit about him. Drink.

She couldn't find the words or the nerve to go back and talk to him. Drink.

She had to see and deal with Gemma. Drink.

William wanted to see her. Drink.

And then dance like nothing fazed you. Then drink some more.

After spending most of the night on the dance floor with some of her and Rachel's friends, Kit went back to the bar to see her cousin. Unfortunately, Rachel had to work but was able to get her free drinks. On a normal day it would be considered a perk but tonight it was just allowing Kit to drink more than anyone should.

"How are you doing, Kitten?" Rachel asked across the bar. There was a lull in people so she actually had a chance to talk to her. She could sense something was up but didn't push Kit when she wanted to go out tonight.

"Fabulous, baby," she replied, grinning.

Rachel smiled. Her cousin was so drunk. "What do you want?"

"Surprise me." Kit watched as Rachel began pouring different liquids into a cocktail glass. "I ended things with Jax," she blurted out. It was like she couldn't hold it in anymore. She wasn't a big talker but she needed to talk to someone about this.

"When?" Rachel asked, finally understanding Kit's sudden need for a night out. She placed the drink on the bar.

"This morning. It's something I should have done a long time ago. He was just...this guy. I have William. I shouldn't be running around behind his back. You made that clear," she said. She picked up the cocktail and drained it in a few gulps.

"That was your last one. I'm cutting you off," Rach said, taking the glass off the bar. "You shouldn't be with two guys but I thought you'd break up with Will, not Jax."

"I've been with Will for over a year. Jax should have stayed a one-time thing. And you can't cut me off."

Rachel took Kit's hand to hold her attention. "You don't know how you are with Jax compared to Will."

"What are you talking about?"

"You actually love him, for one."

Kit laughed. "Love? God, I was only seeing him for a couple of weeks. It wasn't love. I'm not in love with him."

Rachel served two girls who came up to the bar and reminded them that last call was in a few minutes. Then she turned back to Kit. "Maybe not yet but you were falling for him. I could see it. With Will, a spark like that has never been there. You should talk to Jax."

Kit shook her head. "I can't. I said things. And I don't even know if I want to get back in it. Do I need to remind you what happened last night?"

She shrugged. "I'm over it. We're fine. Break up with Will and make things right with Jax. It's that simple."

A part of Kit knew that Rachel was right. But it wasn't that simple. She was just as confused now as she was this morning. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel. She could see the two paths in front of her. Through the one on her left was William. It was a normal life that had its ups and downs. It was going out on dates and to the movies and moving in together. It was steady and reliable. The path on her right was another story. It was Jax and the great unknown. Nothing about him was predictable, which was exciting and scary all at the same time. Kit wasn't sure what to do. A sane person would choose left but she desperately wanted to go right. Common sense had an iron grip on her, holding her back. Behind all her feelings for Jax she knew that he came with danger, risk, and high emotion. She couldn't feel completely safe with a gunrunner and criminal, a killer. Could she? How could she deal with all that?

Kit looked over at Rachel who was talking with one of the other bartenders. It amazed her that her little cousin who could barely handle the stress of calling in sick to get off work was just shrugging off a drive-by shooting. Rachel must really love Juice. Or maybe Kit was just too weak to stay by Jax's side. She could picture his face when he left the house this morning, the hurt of her words painted all over it. She could even remember the moment it hardened, the same moment that she wanted to take everything back.

She pulled her phone out of her purse and saw that she had a text from William, telling her to come over. The alcohol that had a hold of the better half of her brain saw this as a golden opportunity. She could stop thinking about everything, stop being confused and just throw herself back into the relationship she was actually in. A perfect cure for a perfectly shitty day.

* * *

A.N: Thanks for all the reviews/follows/faves. Penny for your thoughts, my dear readers?


	9. Chapter 9

Kit woke up with a splitting headache. It hurt to think. She didn't even want to try moving. If she didn't have to leave this bed, it would be too soon. She was hot, the sun warming her body. She rolled over to move away from its rays and hit another body. She slowly opened her eyes to see who was blocking her from comfort. She suspected Rachel and was a little surprised to see William beside her. He was awake, reading the paper.

"Good morning sleeping beauty," he said.

Kit felt like she was in a bad dream. "Morning," she mumbled then covered her head with the pillow. She could feel the clinging material of her dress from last night. It had ridden up to her waist but it was still on and although her head was pounding, she couldn't recall having sex with Will. Much of last night was a blur and she didn't have a problem keeping it that way for now.

"There's Aspirin and water on the nightstand, baby," he said, rubbing her back gently. "And when you're ready, we can talk about last night."

She peeked out from the pillow. "What's there to talk about?"

"You came in drunk and you passed out after about five minutes. I had to carry you in here. Do you remember anything?" he asked, annoyance seeping into his words.

"I drank too much when I was out with the girls. There, we talked about it." She closed her eyes and resumed her position under the pillow.

"Kit, this isn't like you. Lately, it's like I don't even know you. I invited you over because I wanted to see you. We haven't spent any real time together. Who knows how long it's been since we've had sex. What's going on?" he almost yelled. All his frustrations were finally pouring out. He wanted to shake her.

She couldn't do another morning of fighting or confrontation and it wasn't just the hangover. "Nothing is going on and you're right, I'm not ready to talk about this. Maybe in a couple hours, but not now. I can't think..."

"Can't think of what? More excuses and lies? Tell me what's going on? I want to help you," he said, a note of pleading in his voice.

Kit had half a mind to just fuck off and leave but her whole body protested. She wouldn't be the one leaving this room in a pissed off mood. "Why do you want to help me? Just let me be. This is who I am. Maybe you just never noticed."

"That what, you're a bitch? Because I've definitely noticed that."

"Then why are you still with me?"

"I love you, Kit, and no one's perfect." He pulled the pillow off her head. "Tell me what the hell is going on with you. You just don't seem to care anymore. It's like you're not here. What changed? Just talk to me," he said. "Can't you even look at me?"

She turned over and opened her eyes. It was like she was seeing him for the first time. She could see all the hurt and frustration in his eyes and had to live with the fact that she put it all there. He deserved so much more. It spoke volumes about her that she barely took into consideration his feelings in all this. Every time she saw Jax, her guilt about cheating lessened and she'd seen him a lot.

"I just…can't do this anymore."

"You're breaking up with me?" he asked, only half-surprised. A part of him saw this coming, saw it coming weeks ago, but he chose to go on living in ignorance, not wanting to believe it.

"I don't know. I think so. I love you but this is just becoming harder than it should be," she said, biting her bottom lip. "I'm sorry."

He exhaled heavily, looking reflective. "Can you just tell me what changed? What did I do to make you want out?"

"It wasn't you. You are a great boyfriend." _And I was the worst kind of girlfriend_, she added mentally. "It's just me. I feel like I've changed, what I want, what I need. I need a fresh start. I'm tired of fighting and forcing this to work when it doesn't fit."

William lied back down and stared up at the ceiling. "Sometimes I feel like I barely know you, Kit."

_You don't, _she wanted to tell him, _not really. _She always thought keeping him in the dark about her real feelings and real past was the best thing for them. But it was just an experiment. She had decided not to trust him right out the gate and they could never succeed on a foundation of lies. Maybe she had always known that and why it was so easy for her to drift into another relationship.

"Why don't we just take a break? Take some time and clear your head. I don't want to end things, not yet. I don't think it would be fair not to give this a second chance," he said, looking at her with his familiar brown eyes, hope saturating them.

Kit leant over and kissed him lightly on the lips, not having the heart to take the opportunity to bow out. She wasn't sure what it was that made her do it. She'd been waiting for an out for ages and now that it was finally here, she couldn't take the plunge. Maybe it was the sudden void of Jax or just the selfish need to feel wanted. Either way, she decided to go along with this new path that had emerged.

"Okay, we'll take a break."

* * *

Jax knocked on the door of Opie's hospital room before walking in. His best friend was out of the hospital gown and into his normal clothes, beanie and all. It was good to see him looking normal and almost whole. It had been a tough recovery but the doctors had finally cleared him to go home.

"Hey brother, ready to get out of here?" he asked Opie.

Opie nodded, slipping on his cut. "If I never have to see another doctor, it'll be too soon." His nurse came in. She was young and pretty. "A nurse however…"

Jax grinned as the nurse shot Opie a small smile. She gave him his discharge papers and a prescription for some pain meds. He was to come back in a week for a check-up. He winked at her and she left the room blushing.

"How's Abel?" Opie asked.

"He's good. He makes me miss the good ol' days when all I needed was a few cookies to make me really happy."

Opie smiled. "I don't know about you but a soft chocolate chip can always make my day." He picked up his pack and threw it over his shoulder. There was still a throbbing pain in his shoulder but it felt good to be getting back into the swing of things. "How'd Clay's latest meeting with the Russians go?"

Jax shrugged. "Things are going smoothly so far. I don't trust our contact though. Something just doesn't feel right about this."

"They've been holding up their end of our deal. We don't have to like our business partners as long as they're making us money," Opie reminded him.

Jax decided to drop it. The frustrating thing about being in a club is that you could really only discuss business with people in it. He didn't want to keep pressing that this whole Russian deal was going to blow up soon. He just knew in his gut that something was wrong here but he couldn't keep telling his brothers that behind Clay's back. Without any proof other than a feeling, it was just making it look like he was simply at odds with his stepfather. Eventually it would create a riff in the club. Having a president and vice-president at odds with each other was never good for anyone and certainly not good for business.

It was times like this he missed having someone he could trust, like Tara, or more recently, Kit. Tara was great but she didn't want anything to do with the club and Kit didn't want anything to do with him. He'd been thinking about her more than he should lately. Kit was just a fling but it was like she had gotten into his head and he couldn't shake her from his mind. He missed the way he could talk to her about anything and she didn't flinch or judge. But it had been a couple weeks and he hadn't seen or heard from her and frankly, he wasn't holding his breath.

"What's on your mind, brother?" Opie asked.

"Nothing important," Jax answered, a wistful look on his face. He quickly replaced it with a smile. "You hungry?"

"Have you seen what they pass off as food in this place? I'm starving."

* * *

Kit was a great cousin and she loved Rachel. She kept telling herself this. It was the only reason that she could stay sitting in her car in the TM lot. This was so uncomfortable and she was on edge, hoping she wouldn't see Jax. Every time she heard a noise, she jumped a bit. A cigarette was dangling from her fingers outside the open window. She was stress smoking and she hated it.

A few hours ago, Rachel had called her realizing that they'd taken each other's phones. It would normally be okay but she was taking a trip down to LA with Juice to visit her brother. She needed her own phone and frankly, Kit wasn't willing to let anyone have that much access to her cell. It was just too personal. When she pulled into the TM lot, she expected Rachel to be waiting so she could just drive in and out but she was running errands. She promised she'd be back momentarily but each second seemed to take an eternity. Kit thought about driving around for a while to kill time but concluded that would be immature. What was a couple of minutes? If she saw Jax, she was a big girl and could handle it.

It was bizarre being here after so long. The weirdest thing was that the longer she sat, the more a tiny part of her wanted to glimpse Jax. Her pride had gotten the better of her and she never called him to apologize and mend things. Confrontation wasn't her thing but lately she was regretting not talking to him. It felt too late now even though she ached for him. Being on her own and single (sort of) was good for her. She could think and figure things out like what she wanted for herself. Being independent was what she needed right now.

After ten minutes of waiting, Juice pulled in on his bike, Rachel holding onto him. Kit felt really exposed and vulnerable once she got out of the shell that was her car. Rach waved but was taking her sweet time talking to her boyfriend. That was when it happened. The pickup truck pulled in and Kit turned around just in time to see that it was Jax and Opie inside. She froze as butterflies exploded in her stomach. Rachel waved at them before coming over.

"Okay, babe?" she asked, hugging Kit.

"Yeah…got my phone? Here's yours." Kit pressed the device into Rachel's hand, urgency in her voice. Whatever desire she had to see Jax had vanished. She didn't know if she could handle seeing him being mad at her, or worse, indifferent. In her head they were perfect until that disastrous morning and maybe she preferred to keep it that way.

"I left it inside. I'll go grab it," Rachel told her. She smiled sympathetically. "I'll be two seconds. Don't worry."

Kit watched her go, not wanting to look over at where Jax parked. Eventually, her curiosity got the better of her and she glanced up. He was crossing the lot and walking toward her. He had his sunglasses on so she couldn't read his expression. She was glad she was still holding a cigarette so she had something to do with her hands. She made herself breathe and calm down so she hopefully wouldn't be a blithering idiot when Jax was finally in front of her.

"Hey," he said, casually. He took off the sunglasses revealing his blue eyes. They weren't hardened like the last time she looked into them.

"Hey Jax. How's it going?" she asked, surprised at how normal she sounded.

He shrugged. "Same old. What are you doing here, Kit?" He was asking more out of curiosity than hostility.

She laughed nervously. "Rachel and I swapped phones by accident this morning. She just went to get mine and I'll be out of here."

"It's okay that you're here," he said half-smiling. He could tell how nervous she was and even though she ended things horribly, a part of him would always care about her. It was actually a little endearing.

She nodded and bit her bottom lip. "How's Abel?"

Jax grinned. "He's really good, talking a lot and running around. I can't believe how fast he's growing up. He'll be starting school in no time."

Kit smiled with him, unsure how to respond. In the seconds of lull in the conversation, she knew what she had to do. It was like a jolt had shot through her. "I'm sorry, Jax. I'm sorry about everything that happened between us, the things I said. I didn't mean them."

He was looking at her intently, his expression unreadable.

The words just started to pour out of her. "I was just scared and confused. I don't know what came over me. It wasn't me. That's not how I really feel. That could never be how I felt about you. I just… I felt like I couldn't call you, like I had ruined everything and I know I have. I know it's too late and I don't expect you to take me back or want to see me ever again but I just want you to know that I'm sorry about everything. If you know anything, know that."

Jax exhaled. "Yeah, thanks for that. I'll see you around, Kit," he told her. He looked at her one last time. She was stunning with the setting sun hitting her the way it was. He turned to leave, unsure if he should say something more.

When the moment passed and he was walking into the clubhouse alone, he felt conflicted. Jax wanted to make things right with Kit but he couldn't forget the fact that she couldn't handle his lifestyle that he wasn't willing to change. He didn't know how badly he wanted her back until she was in front of him. He missed her rare shows of vulnerability and the way she bit her bottom lip when she was nervous. But he had to forget her because there was no point in wasting time with her if it wouldn't work out in the end.

* * *

A/N: Kind of filler-y. Necessary steps toward the next bit. Thanks for all the reviews/follows/faves. Passed 100 follows - milestone. You guys are amazing. Let me know what you think of this svp. - A


	10. Chapter 10

Jax had to bite his tongue. He was sure looks of disapproval and disgust were written all over his face but he didn't care. This was exactly the kind of thing he expected to happen and there was nothing to say. He didn't need to validate what he'd been thinking or saying the past month. This was proof and it was obvious.

"You have a lot of enemies," Dmitry said in his Russian accent. He was wearing one of his usual grey suits, his two bodyguards with him heavily armed. "Why would we do this? This is our investment too."

"Where were the men who were supposed to be guarding the fucking doors?" Clay yelled. This was the last thing he or the club needed right now. He could feel Jax watching him, likely a smug look on his face.

Dmitry shrugged. "They should have been there and they will pay when I find them. I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for all of this."

Jax spat and then walked away. He'd heard the excuses and lies before Clay had arrived. He looked on at the half-burned warehouse. This was the third warehouse they'd gone through in a few short years. They wouldn't even be getting the insurance off this one since the Russians owned it. The mob had been friendly enough to loan it out as a place to assemble their AKs in exchange for a percentage of the profits. In exchange for their hospitality, the Sons were providing a pipeline of high-powered, heavy military weapons from the Real IRA.

It had taken some time to iron out the logistics of their agreement but for over a month, things had been going okay. Everyone was getting their guns and money. But now this huge road bump. Someone had robbed their warehouse and burned it down. In Jax's mind, it had to be the Russians. They had the most to gain from all this. They got the guns they bought, all the ones belonging to the Sons and they even got the insurance money from the destroyed warehouse. Who else would intervene? SAMCRO had business relationships with almost all the local gangs, the Niners, Mayans, Lin and the Italians. Besides that, the warehouse was on private land that no one knew about.

Jax knew it was these Russian fucks in his gut. He lit a cigarette and walked over to Bobby who was surveying the damage. Clay was still ripping into Dmitry in the distance.

"What do you think, brother?" Bobby asked.

"You already know what I think," Jax replied, a dark look in his eyes. "Tell me that something about this doesn't feel right, and not just because we got fucked."

Bobby nodded. "No, it doesn't. The Russians have enemies too, though. We'll get to the bottom of this and we'll make whoever did this pay."

"We're going to take a huge cut. No one's getting any product this week." They had had two shipments ready to go, one for the Mayans and one for the Niners, which was now missing. No one getting guns and no one getting paid.

Jax looked over at Clay. Dmitry had gone and now the president was talking to Tig, still seething. He wondered if Clay was questioning his choices. More likely he was now determined to prove it was some outside group. Jax had already planted the seed of doubt into most of the Sons by not trusting the Russians and this had just caused that seed to sprout. Clay had to do something, anything, to keep from being undermined.

"It's not his fault," Bobby said, putting a hand on Jax's shoulder. "He's been doing his best to keep this club whole. Let him try and clean this up before you do anything stupid."

The VP took a long drag on his cigarette before tossing it on the ground and going to rejoin his brothers standing around Clay. He could do that. He could let his step-father clean up _this_ mess but when the next one happened and they ended up worse off, he was sure he'd have the club behind him wanting to pull out. What he needed right now was something solid that everyone could get behind, something legitimate so they could ease away from guns and away from shit like this.

The thought hit him like lightning, a memory that seemed so long ago. They didn't need to get away from guns, just these kinds of guns.

* * *

Jax was alternating knocking on the solid wood door with ringing the doorbell. He was at Kit and Rachel's but no one was answering. Kit's car was in the driveway so he was pretty sure she was home. Did she see him out on the porch and decide to ignore him? It was a pretty good possibility considering everything. They didn't end on bad terms but she didn't express any desire to get back together really. Neither of them did at their last meeting.

"For god's sakes, I'm in the backyard!" Jax heard Kit call from a distance. Checking there had briefly crossed his mind but since he wanted a favor from her, he thought it might come across as creepy and invasive.

Jax walked around the house and reached his hand over the gate to open the latch. He saw Kit immediately, lying in a hammock tied between the two large trees. She was wearing nothing but a bikini and sunglasses, a cocktail on a little table beside her. As he walked over, he remembered every curve in her body, every scar, every mark. And he wanted it all.

"Don't you answer your door?" he asked to start, unable to keep from smiling at her.

She lifted her sunglasses. "If it's important they always come back. Besides, have you ever tried to get out of a hammock? Not an easy thing on a Saturday as beautiful as this one," she told him grinning. "What can I do for you, Jax?"

Since Kit apologized, she felt so much better toward him. The ball was still in his court regarding getting back together but when she missed him now, she didn't feel guilty or like the worst person in the world anymore. Seeing him right now made her hopeful, actually. He hadn't called but come to see her in person. It was a good sign.

"I'll just cut to the chase so you can get back to relaxing. It's about something you said once. You had a family friend who was selling his gun shop in Stockton. Is that still on the table?" he asked, hopeful.

She nodded and took a sip from her cocktail. It looked like a mojito. "It's still up for grabs. Lee still hasn't found someone he's willing to sell to. I can take you over there today if you're free."

Jax nodded. "When do you want to l-

"But before we go, you have to do something." She had a mischievous look in her eyes. He looked at her expectantly. "Something has obviously spurred this interest on. Lie down with me and tell me what's on your mind, Jackson. You'll feel better for it and I'm curious." Her eyes sparkled with anticipation.

He smirked, accepting her challenge, and moved into the hammock beside her. The thing was pretty big, supporting both of them well. He totally understood what she meant about getting out of it though. It would require effort. Kit naturally leaned into him and his arm went around her. This was mostly for physical comfort but it felt really nice to lie like this again. This close, he could smell her familiar scent of lemons and vanilla in her hair.

"When did you get a hammock?" Jax asked her, looking down at her face. He fought the urge to kiss her pink lips.

"I was looking for something in the basement and I found it in a box. I never even knew we had it but we put it up last week. It's pretty amazing, isn't it?"

"It is," he replied.

"So tell me what's up? You're all tense and shit."

Jax launched into the story about the Russians, not really leaving anything out. He probably shouldn't have because she wasn't with him anymore and even then, it was always risky sharing club business. But she was easy to talk to and none of it fazed her so far. He recalled what his old man had written in his memoir about old ladies. You either tell them everything or nothing, otherwise it all falls apart.

"That's a lot to take in. I would definitely be careful, Jax. You don't have proof this was them yet. I know it looks like everything fits together but maybe it's because you want it to," she told him, tracing circles onto his chest with her fingers absentmindedly. "I'm not saying you're wrong, just that there are a million other viable explanations and these don't sound like guys you want to fuck around with and start pointing fingers."

"That was the general consensus," he said, thinking back on church this morning. "I just know it was them. I don't even know how we can trust them. We killed everyone in their regime out here and now we have a clean slate? It's just too good to be true."

"I don't feel right about it either but let it play out a bit more. See what they have to say when the dust finally settles."

Jax knew she was right and he didn't know why, but he felt a bit better when she said to hold off than when his brothers had. Maybe it was just because she was an unbiased third party. Or that she was logical and brilliant. Or more importantly, that it was Kit and he valued her opinion.

They lay together while the sun beamed down on them. He briefly wondered if this was what it was like to have a normal life. Just to be a normal mechanic who could just spend the day lounging with a beautiful woman in the backyard. He could even imagine Abel running around. Alas, that wasn't his life.

"When do you want to leave?"

She moved, leaning on his chest so she could face him. "I don't really," she said, a look of longing in her eyes. "Just let me get some clothes on and we can go."

Kit started to get out of the hammock but Jax pulled her close and pressed her lips to his in a motion so fast it took her a few seconds to process. Once he started, she didn't want him to stop. For the first time in a long time, she felt happy and excited. And for once, she didn't feel guilty about any of these feelings. Her hands were tangled in his hair and his were on her waist, holding her to him.

"We should really get going," Jax said between kisses. It was his brain, sneaking some words in. The rest of him wanted to pick her up and bring her inside where they could take this further. He didn't even care about the gun shop anymore. It could wait. Everything could wait for this.

"We should." As he kissed her neck, she found herself laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"This. I really missed you Jax." Kit kissed him quickly on the lips and got out of the hammock. "I have to get dressed."

"You don't have to."

She gave him a cheeky smile and walked back toward the house. Her head was spinning. Kit could barely believe that just happened. She didn't want to stop him from touching her or kissing her but it was all too fast. She wanted to be sure and wanted him to be sure about them before they had sex. But as she walked up to her bedroom, she couldn't stop smiling. Jax still wanted her and trusted her enough to discuss things about the club. It wasn't over and there was still a chance they could make it back to where they were once.

* * *

"Just a preface, I'm like Lee's surrogate daughter so he might hassle you a bit," Kit told Jax as they walked up to Cooper Arms.

He had his arm around her waist, not wanting to let her go. He couldn't believe how much he missed her until he was simply talking to her. He could almost forget all the bullshit of the past. It still nagged at him that he wasn't sure she could be involved with SAMCRO but he was willing to let it slide for now. Kit could learn to become strong, like Gemma. She could adapt.

"Taking me to meet your sort-of dad? Kind of big step, don't you think?" Jax teased.

"You should feel honored. I've never taken any boy to meet dear old, Lee," she told him as she pushed open the door. She saw Lee with a customer across the room. It was a small shop with ammo and accessories lining the four short aisles and guns lining the walls, secured behind locked metal cages. The register was by the door and a back office at the far end.

"Be with you in a sec, Kit," Lee called, shooting her a toothy grin.

Lee was a short man in his sixties. He had grey hair that was balding, hidden under a worn Oakland A's baseball cap. He was unremarkable really, just an old man, but he'd taught Kit almost everything she knew about guns. She used to come by a lot when she first got into arms. When she moved to Stockton after high school, Lee had given her a part-time job here and even helped her find an apartment nearby. She really missed being so close to this place and talking to him when she moved back to Lodi. Whenever she walked through the doors, it felt a little like coming home.

"It's a decent size," Jax said, looking at some hunting rifles on the wall. "Manageable for now."

"The shooting range is a minute down the road. Most of the people that go there shop here and Lee has great relationships with a lot of them. It's just a prime location," Kit told him. She picked a box of bullets off a shelf. She didn't really need them yet but she always liked to buy something when she was here.

"A built-in client base is always a good thing."

Lee came over after a few minutes. He hugged Kit hello and gave a friendly smile to Jax. "You must be the young man Kit's been telling me about. She never mentioned you were one of the Sons of Anarchy."

"Jax Teller," he said, sticking out his hand.

"Well come on back to the office. I'll give you the run-down on this place if you're interested in buying. If Kit's vouching for you, that means a lot."

Lee led Jax back to the small office in the back, Kit remaining out front to watch the store. The office was sizeable but old, with big filing cabinets on one wall and an old fridge in the corner. The men sat across from each other, the big solid wood desk between them. Lee gave Jax a binder of information and they went through all the standard things about the business, how old it was, profitability, costs, etc. All in all, it took about half an hour.

"I'll have to take it to the club but I think this will be a good fit for us," Jax said, closing the binder. Lee had a very organized and systematic business. He didn't just sell to anyone and had the right to refuse customers, and he did.

Lee leaned back in his chair. "Now, I know your intentions about my business. What are they regarding my family? Kit isn't someone who you should toy with and not just because she's the sharpest shooter in these parts." His tone turned very fatherly and protective.

"I would never do that," Jax told him honestly.

"How'd you meet her?"

Jax shrugged. "Mutual friend. She came by the clubhouse one night and we got talking. She's really something, different from the women who filter through there. I care about her a lot."

"Good, because she loves you, Jax. I don't know if she's told you but I know her and she don't love easy. If you break her heart, I might have to kill you."

"That's only fair."

"Good man." Lee got up and shook the biker's hand. His face turned serious. "Take care of her, Jax. She's like my daughter. I've watched her grow up. She was so damaged when I first met her. I don't want to ever see her like that again."

Jax nodded. "I won't let anything bad happen to her, you have my word. I love her too," he said, knowing it to be true as the words tumbled out of his mouth.

He and Kit had never exchanged those three little words but Jax knew he loved her. It was the resurgence of her presence in his life today that shook the truth out of him but he had always known it. Even after all the shit they'd already been through, the words just felt right, like he had known them all along. The cloud of doubt lifted. They could figure the rest out.

As they walked back into the store, Jax spotted Kit sitting behind the register flipping through a catalogue. She was wearing a plain white t-shirt, worn-in jeans and not much makeup, her long, dark hair cascading down her back. It was so simple but Jax loved that. She was beautiful and just real. She looked up as the two men approached, smiling brightly.

"I hope you didn't give him too much of a hard time, Lee," Kit said, closing the magazine.

"Just the right amount," Jax answered.

"Mike's coming down from Oregon next weekend. You should come over for dinner, Kit. I know Marie would love to have you. You could bring Jax if you like," Lee offered. "Or Rachel. We haven't seen her in ages," he rushed, realizing that he might be imposing.

Kit nodded and hugged the old man. "I'll call and let you know next week. Thanks for everything, Lee." She turned to Jax, "We better go before I start ordering things I don't need out of that catalogue."

Jax said his goodbyes and walked out with Kit under his arm. The sun hung low in the sky and he remembered that he agreed to pick up Abel this evening. Kit had never met his son. Like any parent, he didn't want to introduce his kid to anyone unless he was sure about them. It would just confuse him.

"I've got Abel tonight," he told Kit as she was getting her helmet on.

"Oh, well I can get Rach to pick me up from the clubhouse or something," she said, keeping her voice neutral. She wasn't offended. Kids were tricky. "You don't have to drop me all the way to Lodi."

"You should stay for dinner and meet him. I know he'd like you."

Kit kissed Jax without hesitation, happiness washing over her. She had stopped trying to figure out exactly what they were doing. She didn't care about the future anymore, just right now. "This is just a day of big steps, isn't it?"

* * *

A/N: hope you enjoyed. feed my curiosity and let me know what you thought about it. xo Alexa


	11. Chapter 11

Sometimes, the best days you have are the ones that are never planned. As Kit washed the dinner dishes, she couldn't believe all that had happened. It still felt like a dream. This week had her wiped so she was going to relax on the weekend and do nothing. In a mere twelve hours she had gotten back with Jax and met his son. They hadn't said anything official about being together but they almost didn't have to. Kit knew what she felt in her heart and it was so real that it felt stupid to doubt.

Meeting Abel was the most unexpected thing about today. Even when they were dating before, Kit always thought Jax would introduce them later down the line, when they were serious. Not today when they'd just started talking again. It meant that Jax felt the same way she was feeling. The time apart had made all the difference, made it clear the love they felt for each other.

Not only did Kit love Jax, but she had fallen head over heels for his son. Abel was an angel and the cutest kid she'd even seen. It meant the world to her that he seemed to like her too. She could gush about him all day. Jax was currently putting him to bed. The best part about meeting Abel, was seeing how Jax was as a dad. He loved his kid so much and took good care of him. It was so endearing and made her love him that much more.

Kit finished rinsing the last plate and placed it carefully in the rack. As if on cue, Jax came into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her waist, hugging her from behind. "Congratulations, you've got a new fan."

"He's adorable, Jax. Just too sweet," she told him, relishing the feel of his body pressed to hers. This day had felt surreal but the best parts where when they were touching, no matter what form that took. That was when she knew it was real.

"I'm glad he liked you. He's usually really shy with new people." He kissed her neck before turning her around so she was facing him. His arms held her to him nice and tight. "I've got some bad news, baby. I can't leave the kid and drive you home so I guess you'll just have to spend the night."

Kit felt her heartbeat start to pickup. They were so close, his forehead pressed to hers, their lips mere inches apart. "Is Abel asleep?" she asked almost whispering, anticipation in her voice.

"Out like a light."

Jax started kissing her everywhere but her lips. His hands were exploring her body. They moved down her sides, over her hips and along the curve of her ass where he picked her up and put her on the counter, standing between her legs. He cupped her face and looked into her green eyes for a moment. In this second, he knew he was sure about her, more sure than he'd ever been. Nothing else mattered because they would figure out the rest, together. Then he kissed her, hard at first and then soft. Then it was like they couldn't move fast enough, their movements becoming quick, urgent almost.

Kit's hands moved to his waist, knuckles grazing his skin before pulling his shirt over his head. As she ran her hands over his bare skin, her need for him intensified. Jax pulled her t-shirt off and pushed her bra straps off her shoulders, smiling as he saw the tattoo on the top of her right shoulder. It was a set of roman numerals, II-V-MCMXCVII. He kissed it, hoping one day she would share that part of herself with him. Just as he moved to unhook her bra, the prepay phone in his pocket started ringing.

Jax pulled it out and silenced the ringer for a moment so it wouldn't wake up Abel. He looked at Kit who was flushed and biting her bottom lip. "Answer it. It could be important," she breathed.

He sighed and then flipped open the phone, reluctantly. "Yeah?" It was Tig. "Okay, I'll be there." He closed the phone and looked it for a second. He wanted to throw it he was so frustrated. He put his hands on either side of the counter around Kit and looked up at her. He could see her frustration too.

"Duty calls?" she asked, a smirk gracing her lips.

He nodded. "You mind?"

"No, get out of here," she said, a tinge of disappointment lingering in her voice. "I'll watch Abel. And like you said, I guess I'll be spending the night. Just don't keep me waiting all of it."

Jax picked his shirt up off the floor and put it back on. "I'll be back soon. Then we can do this right." He gave her one last kiss before leaving, grabbing his cut on the way out. He briefly wondered if he should have told her that he loved her but realized it wasn't the right time. Things were moving so fast now that when he told her, he didn't want it to be a goodbye.

* * *

When Jax got to the clubhouse, all of the men assembled at the table. Jax took his place to the left of Clay. He would bring his new opportunity to the table when they were done with whatever this was. As he looked at his stepfather, he remembered what Bobby said. He should give Clay a chance to fix things or at least figure out this situation with the Russians.

When everyone was settled, Clay started. "Alright, first order of business, I just got a call from Dmitry. The cops found those two bastards who were supposed to be guarding the warehouse. Their bodies were dumped just outside the Charming border in Lodi. This was definitely a message for SAMCRO."

"From who?" Juice asked out loud.

"Someone who doesn't like our working relationship with the Russians. One of those guys was Dmitry's cousin. According to Trammel and San Joaquin, the bodies were mangled beyond recognition. It's not the way you off your family so I think it's safe to say it rules the Russians out as the arsonists," Clay said, pointedly. "Who else do we have beef with?"

Lately they'd had good working relationships with all the major gangs in the area. That being said, alliances could shift in the blink of an eye. It could be someone new on the scene or who wasn't happy about the gun deal SAMCRO had with the Russians. Or both.

"Reach out to Leroy, Alvarez, and Lin. We'll see what's going on and if they've had any trouble lately," Clay said. "I talked to Belfast and the next shipment is coming in at the end of the month."

"We have about a dozen AKs that we can offer up to the Mayans and the Niners," Kozik said.

"It ain't what they ordered but it'll have to do for now," Bobby chimed in.

"That being said, we're going to come up short this month until we can rebuild or find somewhere else to set up shop. Anyone got a warehouse they haven't told me about?" Clay asked. There was a round of chuckles.

"Not a warehouse, but a new way to get us paid," Jax said, seizing his opening. "I had a meeting today with someone who's selling his gun shop in Stockton. It's right near the shooting range and there's plenty of room for expansion."

Clay eyed him, caught off guard by this new proposal. "If we bought it we'd be under constant surveillance from the ATF, making sure we're staying in line. That's a lot of heat we don't need."

"They've already sent in new agents to investigate the warehouse," Juice informed them. He'd been looking into them during the day, looking for weaknesses or if they were the kind of feds who turned a blind eye as long as they saw a little green.

"Exactly. Sorry son, I don't think it's the right time," Clay said, sounding a lot more sincere than he was. To be honest, the timing really wasn't right but a big part of Clay didn't want to see his endeavor burn out and Jax's rise from those ashes.

The stepson knew Clay would oppose this but it wasn't entirely up to him. It had to go to a vote. "A legitimate business is _exactly_ what we need right now. We would have steady income. Less than what we make otherwise—

"Peanuts," Tig cut in, "compared to what we're making."

"It would be nice to have some peanuts when shit like this goes down. Better to line our pockets with something than nothing. There's no reason we can't sell legal guns and AKs on the side."

"Kid has a point," Piney muttered, looking at Clay.

"We would have to check everything out but let's put it to a vote," Clay said, irritated. "All those in favor of buying into this?" There were 7 yays and 3 nays but it didn't matter. It passed. "Alright. Bobby will go over the numbers tomorrow to see if this is possible. Anything else?" When no one said anything, Clay slammed the gavel and ended church.

Jax couldn't help grin as everybody piled out of the room. They were finally taking a step away from gunrunning. Well, not away but they were putting some of their eggs in a less dangerous basket. It felt really good. He just honestly hoped that something like what happened to Cara Cara didn't happen with this. Not only was this good and well suited for SAMCRO, it was a gift from Kit and he wanted to do her proud.

Opie put his hand on Jax's shoulder, shaking him from his thoughts. "Gun shop?"

"Cooper Arms off of Highway 4," Jax answered as they walked over to the bar with the rest of their brothers. He took out a cigarette and lit it. "You've probably seen it. Small place."

"How the hell do you happen to know the owner?" He took a beer from the girl behind the bar and took a long swig

"Kit knows him."

Opie smirked at his best friend. "So, that's where you've been all day. How is she doing?"

"Really good. I'm back in it with her."

"What, does she have you pussy whipped already?"

Jax chuckled. "Fuck off, bro."

"What'd it take, a couple hours?"

"Sometimes that's all you need."

"She must be worth it."

"She is," Jax said, resolutely.

"So Kit's good with all this?" Opie asked, looking around the clubhouse. "That's why things didn't work out last time, right?"

Jax nodded. "Things are better now."

"If that's what you want then I'm happy for you, brother." Ope pulled him in for a one-armed hug. He liked seeing his best friend like this and if Kit put him in this great a mood, he was good with that. "Just make sure she's ready for all this shit when you bring her back around. She can't hang out on the fence."

Jax knew that was how things were around here. Second chances weren't always easy to come by and when you got them, you didn't fuck up again. He saw his mother across the room talking with Clay. She would surely give Kit a hard time, never liking her from the beginning. Kit usually stood her ground but he'd have to make sure Gemma didn't push her away from him or the club. Jax shoved that thought to the back of his mind. Today was going so great and it was far from over. Worrying could wait for another day. He slipped out of the clubhouse before anyone could stop him. He had a beautiful woman at home and he didn't want to keep her waiting any longer.

* * *

Jax closed the front door of his house quietly, not wanting to wake up Abel. His son wasn't a particularly light sleeper but he had been thinking about Kit the entire ride home and he'd prefer his son stay asleep and not interrupt them. The TV was on so he checked the living room first. He saw Kit lying down under a blanket, asleep. Abel was in her arms also sleeping. It was such a sweet sight that Jax almost didn't want to disturb them.

He went over and scooped up Abel gently.

Kit opened her eyes at the movement and smiled up at him. "He woke up with a nightmare," she explained in a whisper.

"I'll be right back, darlin'," Jax told her with a wink. He went to put his kid back in his own room. Abel was still so small and innocent. Jax tucked him under the covers and put his monkey stuffed animal beside him. "Sleep tight buddy," he muttered and kissed his son's head.

Kit was standing in the hallway, leaning on the wall and watching him. She was biting her bottom lip, a smile in her eyes. She loved watching him act all fatherly. It might just be her new favorite past time. He closed Abel's door and turned to face her. "Jax, you have competition. I think I'm in love with him."

"Well, it's a good thing we're a package-deal," he told her and came in close, pulling her in and kissing her hard. He couldn't wait to have her anymore. He'd waited long enough. His hands were on either side of her head, in her hair, holding her to him like it was the last time they'd ever kiss.

"Let's try this again," she breathed, between kisses.

Kit's entire body tingled and her heart was racing. Jax's touch felt electric as he ran his hands over her body, reacquainting himself with every bit of it. He pulled her through the threshold to his bedroom, their lips barely separating, closing the door with his foot. Jax couldn't remember the last time he wanted someone this badly. They started undressing each other. After he'd dispelled with her shirt and bra, Jax's hands fell to her hips. He grazed his thumb over each hipbone before undoing the button on her jeans. He slipped his hands into the back of them, squeezing her ass and pulling her hips to his. Kit could feel how hard he was through their clothing. He started a trail of kisses from her lips to her neck, to each bare breast, all the way down her torso to her hips where he started pulling her underwear and pants off together, kissing each new inch of skin he revealed. It was like the sweetest form of torture. When she was free of her clothes, he picked her up and in one smooth movement they were on the bed. Her hands moved to undo his belt and jeans. He helped her along, slipping out of them and moving on top of her.

Kit stopped for a moment, cupping his face. She just wanted to look at him and take in the moment. She had missed the feeling of his skin, the way he kissed, the way he moved, even the way he smelled. And now she didn't have to miss it anymore. It was all hers. It had only been a few hours but everything felt different. It was different. "Jax…" she murmured through heavy breathing.

"I know," he told her, locking eyes with her. "I love you too."

There were no more words after that. Just love. It was strange how different sex was when you loved the person you were with. It was better in a million and one ways.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for all the follows/faves/reviews. It's nice to know real people are out there. Drop me a line and let me know what you thought. Things will start picking up plot wise next chapter. xoA


End file.
